'Twas The Night Before Deadline
When all through the house
Not a creature was stirring,
Not even a mouse
The source code was written, and checked-in with care.
In hopes that release day soon would be there.
And I was nestled, all snug in my bed,
While visions of source code danced in my head.
Me in my p.j's, having counted some sheep,
Had just settled into a stress-induced sleep.
At three in the morning I awoke with a clatter!
"The code is not perfect, I know what's the matter!"
Away to the office in my trusty chevette,
Not a single idea would I forget!
The moon on the monitor sparkled like snow,
Gave a luster of mid-day to the keyboard below.
When what should my wandering fingers produce?
Why a all new code, efficiently reduced!
It came in a rush, frenzied and quick,
And I knew in a moment, this will do the trick!
Faster than light, these functions they came,
And I whistled and shouted and called them by name:
"Now, getBase()! Now, getConf()! Now, setConf() and writeRow()!
On gACL()! On wACL()! On, readIn() and setShow()!
To the top of the market! We'll beat them all!
Now, compile, compile!
Compile away all!"
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,
My fingers they flew, and the programs compiled,
Then the for loops went for,
And the while loops went while!
As I ran my creation I suddenly knew,
The program was working, and beautifully, too.
I imagined success and wealth, new found,
When through the window SANTA came with a bound!
He was dressed all in fur from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot!
A bag full of magnets he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler, just opening his pack.
His eyes how they twinkled! His dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, His nose like a cherry
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow
And the beard on his chin was a white as the snow.
The stump of a pipe he held tight in this teeth.
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.
He had a broad face and a little round belly
That shook when he laughed, Like a bowl full of jelly.
He was chubby and plump -- A right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, In spite of myself.
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
and erased all my source code, then turned with a jerk,
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod --- Out the window he rose!
He sprang to his sleigh to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew Like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight:
"GET A LIFE PEG!"
"YOU DREAM CODE AT NIGHT!"