It has been a while since I wrote a
day log, but not for lack of interest. Things have been crazy at home and at work, and I made the foolish mistake of buying
Baldur's Gate II a couple of weeks ago. Evil,
evil game; it occupies your
dreams, your thoughts, your mind. I find myself, in the shower, hearing the bloody background
melody in my head. Frightening, really. Being confronted with my own tendancy towards addiction, I have again confirmed the fact (to myself, at least) that I can never, ever
gamble.
My son is still in his insecure phase, and continues to wake up several times each evening, crying for his mother and father. The worst part of it is not the fact that we are both now severly sleep deprived (I find myself nodding off at work) or frustrated with one another, but our collective fatigue erodes our patience. We both find ourselves loosing our temper with Luca over silly little things, and when we raise our voices at him he reacts in the most heartbreaking manner. He freezes completely, opens his eyes wide open and then begins to weep and cry from fear and shock. The worst of it all is that we begin to hate ourselves for not being better parents, which gradually takes its toll. In fact, I'm beginning to think seriously about buying my fianceé a gift: one night in a hotel in downtown Montreal, by herself, so she can take a nice bath in peace and sleep to her heart's content. I'm not sure whether that's a crazy idea, so feel free to /msg me if you think I'm out in left field on this one.
You know, I find getting my day logs downvoted a very interesting experience. It's hard not to get discouraged when sharing what I consider to be highly personal informatin with this community (albeit anonymously), and then having my thoughts, feelings and experiences invalidated by a downvoter. Perhaps I'm being overly sensitive, but it certainly doesn't encourage one to keep noding in the day logs.
I should state that I don't mind having my normal nodes downvoted. Some of them are wanting, some are uninteresting and some are highly factual and not of much interest to many people. I take that as criticism and an opportunity to improve them.