Wedding
One and
Two are women of the same age, dressed in identical outfits.
One wears a hat.
Lights up. One and Two are standing back to back, close but not quite touching, in centre stage. One faces stage right, Two faces stage left.
Two turns her head to face the audience.
Two: It seemed to happen so suddenly.
Church Bells start to chime.
Two: Last time I thought about weddings I was at school and the nearest I'd got to a proper relationship was seeing
Hugh Grant on a
big screen in his pyjamas.
A pause.
Cheering is heard from the wings at stage right.
Two: Next thing I know,
ten years have flashed past.
One:
(towards wings at stage right) Hip hip...hooray!
Two: Where I used to get letters from friends, all I see now is
invitations, wedding lists. All the conversations are about honeymoons, babies, houses, the good schools.
One:
(mimes air kissing both cheeks) Lovely to see you! Yes, it's been
too long. Mmm,
must see you more often.
Two:
(Angrily) It feels
so false.
One gasps and reaches out just in time to catch the bouquet thrown from the wings at stage right.
One is triumphant. She turns to face the audience and then turns to face Two, holding her spoils.
Two grunts with disgust. She stares for a moment at One, and swiftly exits stage left.
Blackout