My bubble of security has popped. I tried to revolt against my fear of new things by taking a
spontaneous adventure to a place that has no relevance to anything with no real plan of where I was going and what I'd do when I got there. It only exhausted me and left me with more questions than when I began.
Wait. Let's go back a few weeks so I can paint a more full picture.
After several years of working for a bottom-rung newspaper with no possible way of getting anywhere (though the people I worked with were awsome), I began a quest for new job, with eventual success. Nervousness took quite a while to set in, but it washed over me quite quickly once it did. I realized how not-like-me it was to leave such a comfortable environment for the unknown. When I realized my fear of
spontaneity and new things and how much of a hinderance it was and could be, I decided that it was time for
the open road. I went to weather.com and just started typing in
zip codes in the "your local weather" section until I found a place that was warm and a reasonable drive for a 4 to 6 day trip between jobs. After happening upon a few places that didn't really strike my fancy, I came to 31411... Savannah Georgia. Weather reports 75 and sunny, and only a 12 hour drive.
PERFECT!
The plan is, there are no plans. Just go to
Savannah and make my way back up the coast to good ol'
OHIO. I got a check for my unused vacation from the old job and off I was to see the east coast
alone. My
photography course only had 2 more weeks till it was over, so this trip was largely photography-based. Shoot as many rolls of
black and white 35 mm film as possible, and have a good time doing it!
I didn't really know what to do with myself at first. With no real destination, it's hard to know when you get there. And with no real goals, it's hard to know if you accomplish anything. I ended up on some island near Savannah called
Tybee Island at about 2:30 in the morning, unable to get out of a circling residential area near the shore. After stumbling upon the beach and hesitantly and briefly exploring it's moon-lit offerings, I got a hotel and set up shop for 2 nights. I walked the shores alot in Tybee, making up silly games for myself to play (like trying to walk along the edge of where the ocean meets the land just like I'm walking on a wire in a
circus (thanks
Counting Crows)) and trying to make a good time out of it, but it was mostly kind of akward. There were a few really cool times, but it was pretty lonely most of the time. I took lots of pictures and kept to myself for the most part, just watching people and the unknown world around me. I did get to play in the sand. I had to catch up on my sand sculpting, which turned out to be awsome!
Dining by yourself in a restaurant gets some odd reactions. The first time I went to a sit-down restaurant in Georgia, the
hostess immediatly paired me up with another family because there's no way I was there alone. But, alas, I was. It was funny how the family that I was assumed to be with responded. They didn't really want to
shun me, so they kinda look at me with a speechless akward grin and confused eyes, waiting for me to declare my
independence, which I did.
After Tybee Beach, I headed north. I knew a guy who was living in Atlanta, and got his phone number from a friend to try to get ahold of him while I was in the area. It turned out that he was going to
North Carolina for a wedding, which was
coincidentally exactly where I was off to on the same day. We were pretty much
fated to meet up and hang out. He's the kind of friend that I have known forever, but never was REALLY GOOD friends with. We would have never ended up together in North Carolina in any other circumstances, but it turned out to be very comfortable and quite enlightening. Once we met up, it was smooth sailing.
I was there for 2 days and 3 nights. The first day, I drove all over the Moorehead City area, taking in everything I could, trying to stay away from all the touristy areas. The second day, my friend and I drove the outer banks, stopping for lunch, ice cream and 2 ferry rides, all the way to virginia, and then followed the inland shore back to our starting point. It was an all day driving experience. I got to see several waves of
dolphins swimming freely up the coast of the
ocean for the first time, which was oddly amazing. I just couldn't get over how good it made me feel to see them swimming so close to me, and I really have no idea why.
The next morning, which turned out to be
Easter (and I only knew that because the
Gas station attendent wished me a happy one as I left North Carolina), it was back to Ohio, where a new job and an
encroaching
uncertainty paved my way.
I didn't count on the trip and the new job being back to back to
take so much out of me. The first week of my new job, I went to work, then came home and passed out on the
couch, only to get up and go to work the next morning... nothing else. I am finally getting my energy back, but it took quite a while.
So... after all was said and done, and the
odometer 2,400 miles higher than before, I found myself stumped... questioning what was really important in life. The trip made me aware that I could go where ever I wanted, which was a bit freeing, but difficult to fully
swallow. It also made me aware of the importance of
the people around me. There was no loyalty waiting for me at my new job... no friends. Just some people in a building, there to get a
paycheck and go home. But I guess that's how
everything is. It's all as
personal or
impersonal as you want it to be.