Near Matches
Ignore Exact
Everything
2
"Why is my mom three thousand miles away?": Life After The E2 End of Summer Denial of School Northwest Gathering
(
thing
)
by
Brain
Mon Aug 20 2001 at 7:48:26
Dinner at
Montage
: $105
Tonic Water
: $3.49
Twister
board: $14.99
courtesy lime
: priceless
(
thing
)
by
moJoe
Mon Aug 20 2001 at 23:28:54
Everyone talks about
debauchery
, but when you put qousqous in charge, debauchery happens.
--moJoe
By general consent, there is very little to be said about the very wholesome,
family oriented
gathering of noders that just recently took place here in the beautiful state of
Oregon
. We have decided for various reasons which need not be mentioned here that--though something must be noded for
posterity
?s sake--recording an actual play-by-play of the entire evening is neither desirable nor even possible. So then, with the help of
joyquality
,
qousqous
and
Pyrogenic
, we have, in a think-tank fashion, ironed out the format in which this rather uneventful gathering should be covered. A vague list.
qousqous
learned that he needs to use less teeth and more lip.
Pyrogenic
was deified.
Eco
left early and made very little sound, contrary to what one might presuppose by his name.
ideath
is, disturbingly, the sexiest seventh grader that we have ever seen. Hands down.
Joyquality
looks innocent and book-wormish. Really, she is the ringleader. We had no idea.
Unless
serviced every one of us.
Brain
was educated as to why kissing a man with facial hair sucks.
moJoe
lost his underwear.
The idea of
Prole
's bra being used as headwear did not amuse moJoe or qousqous.
lordOmar
was completely innocent of all wrong-doing. No really, I swear.
chattering_magpie
also left early. She really isn't all that loud either.
darkmind.iLs
was drunker than he has ever been in his life. He also woke up wearing moJoe's underwear.
The scenarios
... take them for what you will, we won't talk.
You are on death row and
he is your bitch
, you are about to be executed and he is your last meal.
You are a
white-trash girl
hitch-hiking from a truck stop... he has a big sleeper compartment.
You are a seventh grade teacher and she is a student that you hold a mutual attraction with. You have kept her after school for detention.
You are a male hooker
and he is a nervous first-timer coming out of the closet.
You have a flat tire and he is a
hunky
guy who has pulled over to fix your tire... among other things.
You are in a coma, and he is your gay lover. Think sleeping beauty.
You two are freshmen dorm mates who just staggered back to the dorm from a frat party. You never have
kissed
another girl...
The classic "
strangers on the train
" scenario... we really don't need to elaborate, do we?
He's an alien who's just beamed you up into his flying saucer. Suddenly something rouses your deepest passions, and you're headed for a
close encounter of the fourth kind
.
A vague accounting of
activities
:
(
Ed. note: *I* was being vague when I started this. All the long winded accounts are that of
Pyrogenics
.
)
There was a meeting in Pioneer Square involving a large umbrella and a sign reading "LIVE NUDE
Lesbians
PLUS
SOY EATING MONKIES
". There was a walk to Powells and browsing therein, the largest new and used bookstore in the country. According to the employees, anyway. There was softcore Japanese porn, there was the Zen of Driving, there was a long planning session in the cafe. There was Dada-ist poetry called into
KBOO
and read on the air. There was finally a consensus reached as to the next destination: the
Montage
.
After feasting at the
Montage
, a 25.7% tip, and acquisition of elaborate to-go containers, there was a long discussion over which was the superior evening activity: visiting a juice-bar
strip club
or alcohol and
everyone's favorite party game
. We chose the latter.
We engaged in a few gloriously competitive rounds of the only entertaining
Parker Brothers
game ever concieved.
We intermittently consumed a grand total of forty-eight lime slices, a half a carton of salt, three-thousand milliliters of eighty proof alcohol, roughly one-hundred
cigarettes
, two gallons of water, two boxes of
Wheat Thins
, a half of an
English muffin
and not just a little bit of accidentally ingested brominated water. No one regurgitated anything as far as we know.
We put a few new spins on a game as old as "
courtesy lime
s".
No one brought a bathing suit, which was really a shame.
We again played everyone's favorite Parker Brothers game; this time with a questionably non-traditional variation of the game's parameters.
Quotes:
"Why is my mom three thousand miles away?"
--ideath while being tickled mercilessly by three noders.
Will add more as they are submitted.
The E2 End of Summer Denial of School Northwest Gathering
courtesy lime
iDEATH
An E2 Seattle debauch aftermath node
Stories about the injury of male genitalia
E2 Annex
prole
Naked Twister
FINALLY: Morally Bankrupt but Rich on Beads (the New Orleans gathering aftermath node)
I'd tell you but then I'd have to kill you
E2 Gatherings
Pyrogenic
Debauchery
Unless
Montage
found poetry
I've got your Appalachian Aftermath... RIGHT HERE.
The Loudmouthed E2 Seattle Debauch
Feet of Clay
brain
I'm in Love with a Girl Named Spike
Online learning
eco
Spensley Street Primary School
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