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Professional superhero whose battle cry of Take a memo! causes evildoers everywhere to quake in their boots!

This infamous comic, emailed to appreciative cubicle dwellers all over the world, is the work of Neil McAllister, and can be found hosted at fatalexception.org

Despite its appearances elsewhere, McAllister asserts copyright, and must be consulted before it is printed. In his FAQ, he writes "I request that no one host the strip but my own site."

Action item is a well-known comic script, the work of Neil McAllister. Like me, you've probably been emailed it at least once if you work in a large office environment.

The first time I saw this amusing comic strip, I was working in a large IT company. A cow orker sent me a copy. At the time I was irritated about some red tape issue arising from a meeting we'd all just been to, and suffering from what Neil McAllister has called "office angst". I laughed my ass off as I read it, and since it's too clever not to node, here's a transcript.

Action Item is a one-off strip. You can find the entire illustrated version (and FAQ) at Neil's website:


The Adventures of ACTION ITEM... professional superhero!

...The evil Doctor Diabolical enacts his malevolent schemes upon an unsuspecting city once again...

(Doctor Diabolical kidnaps a girl)
Doctor Diabolical: If my demands aren't met in 24 hours first the girl gets it -- Then, the entire city!!

(The Police Commissioner and sidekick, O'Malley discuss what to do)
O'Malley: We can't take him by ourselves, commissioner! Should I use the signal -- call on Action Item to help us?

Commissioner: No need, I've already sent him a meeting request using Microsoft Outlook!

(Enter Action Item ... professional superhero)
Action Item: Hi, team. Who called this meeting?

Commissioner: I did, Action Item! We need you to put a stop to Doctor Diabolical's nefarious plan!

Action Item: Excellent -- Then you'll be my point of contact!. Now then... To fully own this challenge I'll need to be goal-oriented and results driven!

Action Item: I want to be sure we're all on the same page, Commissioner! Let's open a dialog on this project so I can download your status!

O'Malley: There's no time, Action Item! What are you going to do to save the city?

Action Item: Now, now, O'Malley -- While I appreciate your proactive stance, It's far too early to drill down that far. This is just a high level meeting to determine how I can add value to your investigation.

O'Malley: But the girl... Can't you save her?

(Action Item turns to leave)
Action Item: I feel it's best to address that in a sidebar meeting. We'll touch base next week, Commissioner... And then each Tuesday and Thursday on a go forward basis!

Commissioner: But... The city! You've got to help us!

Action Item: Check your scope document, Commissioner! I don't see that on the list of deliverables for this milestone! But we should take that discussion offline...

(Action Item exits)
Action Item: For now, I must Go! There are Evil-doers elsewhere who must face the sound and fury * of...

...ACTION ITEM, Professional Superhero! But always remember... Don't be the bottleneck!

O'Malley Did you understand what he was saying, Commissioner?

Commissioner: Not a damn word...

(*Signifying nothing)

Note: Permission has been granted by Neil McAlister (reachable through {sngnyrkprcgvba qbg bet jvgu n hfre anzr bs arvy}) to node the above written transcript.

CST Approved

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