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So, it's been a minute since I broke my rule of not-daylogging, which is odd, since I don't have a rule against daylogging, meaning that I've done really well with keeping to not doing it without even trying. Considering that I haven't even really been noding much lately, it's not entirely surprising.

Life has been interesting. There's been one really big development in my life which, while being open knowledge to anyone with an internet connection, I'm not quite comfortable sharing with the noding public. Let's just say that there's a big difference between some information being publically available, and some information being publically available, and open for voting. That's just bloody weird.

I had my wisdom teeth out on Thursday. That was really ridiculously easy. I got knocked out with fentanyl, woke up, stumbled around while being held up by a nurse, and got wheeled out to the car. I was off the painkillers the next day. At this point, my arm from where I got shot up is bothering me worse than having the teeth removed. The worst part, definitely, was later that evening. I was still recovering, and my mom had made me some potato soup which was too hot. I got up to put in in the freezer to cool, took a sip of my drink, and suddenly got really nauseous and light-headed. I remember commenting on it, then I remember sitting down on the kitchen floor so I wouldn't fall over, and the next thing I knew, reality had fuzzed back in, and my mom was on the phone with 911. My mom helped me to the couch, and within a few minutes an ambulance was there. She said that I was completely unresponsive, stiff, and that my pupils were complete pinpricks. She thought that I had a seizure, but I was able to rapidly answer the questions the EMTs had for me, which suggested that I hadn't. It was the usual stuff. What year is it, who is president, where are you, what is your name, etc. I even had the presence of mind to add an "Unfortunately" after I named the president, although I will admit that it took some force of will to not answer "I'm Batman!" when they asked me my name, just for sheer comedic value. That would have been a laff riot, for sure. I turned down a trip and night's stay to the hospital, and I haven't had any problems since then. I did find out, however, that I apparently have high blood pressure, which is surprising, since I'm only 24. I'll be seeing a doctor about this soon.

In the land of Myrk the musician, I finally picked up a amplifier today. It's a Peavey PV-900 amp, which I needed to power my pair of 400-watt titanium-alloy professional loudspeakers that have been collecting dust for the past two years. These things are AWESOME. After playing on a dorm room style shelf system for my entire career, this is an unbelievable upgrade. Next on my list is a Griffin iMic for recording, then a lot of new CDs, then sometime in the future an upgrade to the latest Denon line of CDJ equipment, and then I'm pretty good, until my burning desire for a 1000 watt subwoofer and a mixing board get the best of me. Goddamn, I have an expensive hobby...

At the moment, I'm staying at my mom's house. I am working on all the responsibilities with the old apartment and utilities, and then I'm going to stay here for a while to pay my mom's bills. She has been out of work for a while when her company changed location, so the fact that I'm now able to move in, work from here, and pay her bills for a while is nothing short of a Godsend. She was on the verge of losing everything. The fact that I was able to step in and keep that from happening makes me happier than anything I can imagine.

So, in short, the life I've grown comfortable with, but wasn't able to stand, has been completely uprooted, leaving me grasping at whatever stability I can find, which isn't much. But... I'm happy. I'm happier than I've been in a long time. It lets me know that I've made the right decisions. This is a good thing.

So yes, I'm back.

my long and intimate return speech mercifully cut short by my haste to click the 'blab!' button rather than person/place/idea/thing. Ah well.

missed you guys. well most of you. ;-)

so let's start this again...


So, it looks like I screwed up. For those of you who haven't been following, I'm currently undergoing Basic Officer Training, at the Canadian Forces Leadership and Recruit School in St. Jean, Quebec.

Now, this upcoming week should be my grad week. However, one of the prerequisites for graduating is passing Exercise Leopard. Basically, the idea was that you get thrown in front of a squad of 8 people, and are assigned a task to complete, such as searching for a downed pilot and performing first aid, or building an obstacle course.

While you're doing this, you're evaluated. The idea is not to actually accomplish the task. It's how you go about doing so that matters. They want to see that you made up a plan that properly considered all the relevant factors (Enemy, Friendly, Ground, Resources, Time / Space, and Safety), and that you issued your orders correctly, with enthusiasm and confidence, and that when you're supervising your work, that you're paying attention, fixing mistakes, and motivating those who aren't moving fast enough.

So, of course, there's a bunch of different evaluators, and they all mark differently. Some mark harder, and some easier. We're given 3 chances at this, and for two of those chances, I got screwed over by getting an evaluator who was, shall we say, a hardass.

While I do admit that I did mess up my first time around, I think, and those other people taking the course who were there to see it also think, that the 2nd kick at the can would have, for most other evaluators, a pass. The third time around, I did quite well. Things ran smoothly, I was on the ball, and everyone there assumed that I had passed with a fair margin. Turns out, not so much.

So anyways, long story short, I'm the only person in my platoon of 54 people who did not pass the exercise, and thus the course. Now, if I actually was the weakest link in the platoon, this would be one thing. But there are a number of people who did a worse job (in some cases a much worse job) and still managed to pass. This is why I'm rather pissed off.

That all having been said, it's not completely bad. I've got a progress review board coming up on Monday, at which point I will find out my fate with the Canadian Forces. At this time, my platoon commander's reccomendation is that I be given a chance to recourse, which would mean waiting 5 weeks till the next course starts, and then redoing the last 5 weeks of training. That wouldn't be all too bad. While I would love to get the heck out of here now, in the long run a two and a half month delay isn't really that bad of a thing.

So yeah, that's my shitty bad news for the day. Well, actually pretty much for the year. When I find out what's going on for sure, I'll let you guys know.

Update May 10, 2005: Sorry it took so long to get back to you guys about this. Yeah, I got the recourse. Had to go to the progress review board in front of a Major, a Chief Petty Officer 2nd Class, a Master Warrant, and a Captain, as well as my platoon Commander, Warrant Poulin. Fortunately, I was able to state my case with conviction, and much more importantly, my Warrant was also willing to do so once I had left the room. Started the re-course on Monday, so we'll find out in 4 or so weeks if his faith in me was justified.

Update June 17, 2005: It was. I'm an officer now. Acting Sub-Lieutenant Clarke. I could recount what happened this time around, but it was pretty much the same as the last time around, except more insects and I passed.

Palpz's Basic Training Adventure!

Farewell, Bronchitis, Inspections, Montreal, Tear Gas, and Guns, Camping, Canadian Infantry Style, Broken Teeth, A Brand New Tooth, A Fall From Grace, and Redemption

Hi everybody! I hope you're doing good. I had my poetry reading yesterday and it went pretty good. At first I was kind of nervous but I think I did ok. There were about 30 kids who read their poems and I was one of the first ones. I got a certificate and a book about writing poems. I read some of it after my soccer game yesterday afternoon. We won 3-1.


Hovering over the wee small flowers
The bumblebee works for hours and hours
Spreading pollen all around
Will it ever touch the ground?

So many flowers, so little time
In the distance the church bells chime
I head off as busy as a bee
It has set an example for me!


/me says Standard disclaimers apply, wish some of you coulda been there.

Here is an E2 before and after shot:

before E2:
a dripping, agoraphobic facet, very quietly and sadly dripping away.........

after E2:
a tsunami in lock down.

other things that have changed:
I have my dictionary and my medical dictionary out and always near. I wouldn't want to misspell another node title unless I am creating my own words and saying, "spell checker? kiss my @#$%"

Everyone is calling and asking me if I'm all right because I haven't left the house this weekend.

My friend that knows me best, told me to make sure I eat.

I don't push the snooze alarm as many times when I wake up, I go over and push the computer on/off switch and then I push "favorites" and then I push "everything2.com"

Another little piece of my life is in my "true place"

I learned a little more about not letting people who fear nymphomaniacs, long hair, shaved heads, untamed songs, very short skirts on women over 30, multiple piercings, the list could go on for quite a ways....., scare me.

I like C’s alot more

I have stumbled onto a lost world that exists inside the empty spaces between the electrons, filled with the most amazing creatures.

After you spend all day, feverishly writing something, you haven’t eaten, your friends are freaking out, the dogs are pissed off, you missed all of your engagements, you haven’t taken a shower yet.... after all of this, getting C’s for your work, from mysteriously cool people floating around the internet is like each delicious thrust after a great ......

My big question(s):
If I get enough C's will you send a housekeeper over?

Where is Yoda?

One more thing:
I feel better.

dam..... I wish someone would send me another aggravating e-mail so I can mow the lawn......

It’s Sunday, a day of rest. Yesterday I walked 17 miles near the Rose Bowl. Today I can barely walk at all. I’m shuffling around the house like an old woman. We haven’t been keeping up our walking during the week. Life keeps getting in the way.

On Wednesday night I went to the viewing of a family friend. Her name was Rose. She was 90 years old. If you ever talked to her you’d never think she was that old. She was quick as a whip. Always making everyone laugh. She told it like it is. She will be greatly missed by many people. My 20-month old siblings knew her as Grandma Rose. My mom was able to talk to her about her marital problems. She was the mother of two. Her daughter Carol is deaf and losing her sight. Carol will get visitors at first from many of Rose’s friends but slowly that will taper off and the elderly, deaf, almost blind, and slightly slow Carol will be alone. I feel bad for Carol.

At the viewing Carol kept checking to see if her mother was breathing as if she could not believe her mother was dead. The following day, at the open-casket funeral, she kissed her mom goodbye one last time. We said goodbye to her in the chapel then my step-father helped carry her to her final resting place at Rose Hills cemetery, on a hill.

Rosa R. Rickard
March 8, 1915-April 4, 2005
We love you. You will always be missed.

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