Dodge Neon

Interestingly, over here in England, the Dodge Neon is aimed at a somewhat different target audience.

According to the popular "Parker's Price Guide", The average Neon owner is 53 years old and a third of them are retired.

Don't ask me why though, and before you ask: No, the Dodge Viper is not aimed at 75 year olds here... Then again, perhaps you have to be 75 years old to afford the insurance & petrol for the Viper anyway?

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Oh, and you can check the facts at http://www.parkers.co.uk/choosing/car_reviews/1049/ in case you don't believe me. ;)

Oh, I have one of these "cute" little cars. If only I could blame some one other than myself...

To make the proverbial long and boring story short, I bought it cause it was cheaper than buying another kind of small car. I thought I was saving myself some hassle and money. I thought I was making a good decision (and it matched my drum kit!).

Did I read Consumer Reports? Just to make sure of my decision? Nope! If I had, I would have learned that this 1995 Plymouth Neon was a disaster waiting to happen to the next fool to get taken in by its' little smile, like me.

My sweet, cute little white car (hey, it matched my drum kit!) started decomposing three months after I bought it (slightly used). The paint on the top and sides began peeling off every time I washed it. Then little things failed every few months; the air conditioner - the tape deck - the alternator - a brake rotor - the gas gauge - the rear blinker - the engine.

Four years later, the loan is finally paid off. The engine is making a kind of ominous knocking and rattling. The check battery and the check air bags lights keep coming on, (even though I've taken it back twice to be checked).

I have no idea what to do with this car. I think it's the evil twin of some other cute little Neon, that's plugging away, doing fine, making some cute person happy.

first created Dec 2000


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Update June 2001

Well, the damn thing went and crashed into some one's minivan. $4000 later, I got it back - the entire lid of the car was replaced and repainted. Meanwhile, the paint on top is half gone. Whenever I deign to wash this silly ass car, huge flakes just fly off from the pressure of the garden hose.

When I went camping for Memorial Day weekend, other campers followed me on the highway and commented on the white flakes flying in their face. The pressure of the breeze is flaking the paint off. It's only a matter of time, now, before the top is ready. For me. To repaint. I had better pick a good design. I'm sticking to black and white tribal tattoos, of course.

see art car.

Neons, esp. the 95-97 Model years, had many fun little defects. Most notable of these glitches was the head gasket A mixture of cheap materials used in it were prone to failure, a large part of it being that the material was degraded by antifreeze. It was not uncommon for these little buggers to blow up between twenty five to seventy thousand miles. Other defects, include poorly applied paint that didn't properly set onto the primer, for some reason white being the worst of the bunch, and the alternator going tits up without good reason. Yes, those of you wondering, I owned one, and the pain hasn't stopped yet, even after paying the junkyard people to push the big red button to end its miserable life and perhaps become something more useful, like a soda can