Chapter 11
"It is with considerable difficulty that I remember the original
era of my being; all the events of that period appear confused and
indistinct. A strange multiplicity of sensations seized me, and I
saw, felt, heard, and smelt at the same time; and it was, indeed,
a long time before I learned to distinguish between the operations
of my various senses. By degrees, I remember, a stronger light
pressed upon my nerves, so that I was obliged to shut my eyes.
Darkness then came over me and troubled me, but hardly had I felt
this when, by opening my eyes, as I now suppose, the light poured
in upon me again. I walked and, I believe, descended, but I
presently found a great alteration in my sensations. Before,
dark and opaque bodies had surrounded me, impervious to my touch
or sight; but I now found that I could wander on at liberty,
with no obstacles which I could not either surmount or avoid.
The light became more and more oppressive to me, and the heat
wearying me as I walked, I sought a place where I could receive shade.
This was the forest near Ingolstadt; and here I lay by the side
of a brook resting from my fatigue, until I felt tormented by
hunger and thirst. This roused me from my nearly dormant state,
and I ate some berries which I found hanging on the trees or
lying on the ground. I slaked my thirst at the brook, and then
lying down, was overcome by sleep.
"It was dark when I awoke; I felt cold also, and half frightened,
as it were, instinctively, finding myself so desolate. Before I
had quitted your apartment, on a sensation of cold, I had covered
myself with some clothes, but these were insufficient to secure me
from the dews of night. I was a poor, helpless, miserable wretch;
I knew, and could distinguish, nothing; but feeling pain invade me
on all sides, I sat down and wept.
"Soon a gentle light stole over the heavens and gave me a sensation
of pleasure. I started up and beheld a radiant form rise from among
the trees. The moon I gazed with a kind of wonder. It moved slowly,
but it enlightened my path, and I again went out in search of berries.
I was still cold when under one of the trees I found a huge cloak,
with which I covered myself, and sat down upon the ground.
No distinct ideas occupied my mind; all was confused. I felt light,
and hunger, and thirst, and darkness; innumerable sounds rang in my ears,
and on all sides various scents saluted me; the only object that I could
distinguish was the bright moon, and I fixed my eyes on that with pleasure.
"Several changes of day and night passed, and the orb of night had
greatly lessened, when I began to distinguish my sensations from
each other. I gradually saw plainly the clear stream that supplied
me with drink and the trees that shaded me with their foliage.
I was delighted when I first discovered that a pleasant sound,
which often saluted my ears, proceeded from the throats of the little
winged animals who had often intercepted the light from my eyes.
I began also to observe, with greater accuracy, the forms that
surrounded me and to perceive the boundaries of the radiant roof of
light which canopied me. Sometimes I tried to imitate the pleasant
songs of the birds but was unable. Sometimes I wished to express
my sensations in my own mode, but the uncouth and inarticulate
sounds which broke from me frightened me into silence again.
"The moon had disappeared from the night, and again, with a
lessened form, showed itself, while I still remained in the forest.
My sensations had by this time become distinct, and my mind received
every day additional ideas. My eyes became accustomed to the light
and to perceive objects in their right forms; I distinguished
the insect from the herb, and by degrees, one herb from another.
I found that the sparrow uttered none but harsh notes, whilst those
of the blackbird and thrush were sweet and enticing.
"One day, when I was oppressed by cold, I found a fire which had been
left by some wandering beggars, and was overcome with delight at
the warmth I experienced from it. In my joy I thrust my hand into
the live embers, but quickly drew it out again with a cry of pain.
How strange, I thought, that the same cause should produce such
opposite effects! I examined the materials of the fire, and to
my joy found it to be composed of wood. I quickly collected
some branches, but they were wet and would not burn. I was
pained at this and sat still watching the operation of the fire.
The wet wood which I had placed near the heat dried and itself
became inflamed. I reflected on this, and by touching the
various branches, I discovered the cause and busied myself in
collecting a great quantity of wood, that I might dry it and have
a plentiful supply of fire. When night came on and brought sleep
with it, I was in the greatest fear lest my fire should be
extinguished. I covered it carefully with dry wood and leaves and
placed wet branches upon it; and then, spreading my cloak, I lay on
the ground and sank into sleep.
"It was morning when I awoke, and my first care was to visit the fire.
I uncovered it, and a gentle breeze quickly fanned it into a flame.
I observed this also and contrived a fan of branches, which roused
the embers when they were nearly extinguished. When night came
again I found, with pleasure, that the fire gave light as well
as heat and that the discovery of this element was useful to me
in my food, for I found some of the offals that the travellers
had left had been roasted, and tasted much more savoury than
the berries I gathered from the trees. I tried, therefore,
to dress my food in the same manner, placing it on the live embers.
I found that the berries were spoiled by this operation, and the
nuts and roots much improved.
"Food, however, became scarce, and I often spent the whole day searching
in vain for a few acorns to assuage the pangs of hunger. When I found this,
I resolved to quit the place that I had hitherto inhabited, to seek for
one where the few wants I experienced would be more easily satisfied.
In this emigration I exceedingly lamented the loss of the fire which I
had obtained through accident and knew not how to reproduce it.
I gave several hours to the serious consideration of this difficulty,
but I was obliged to relinquish all attempt to supply it, and wrapping
myself up in my cloak, I struck across the wood towards the setting sun.
I passed three days in these rambles and at length discovered the
open country. A great fall of snow had taken place the night before,
and the fields were of one uniform white; the appearance was disconsolate,
and I found my feet chilled by the cold damp substance that covered the ground.
"It was about seven in the morning, and I longed to obtain food and shelter;
at length I perceived a small hut, on a rising ground, which had doubtless
been built for the convenience of some shepherd. This was a new sight to me,
and I examined the structure with great curiosity. Finding the door open,
I entered. An old man sat in it, near a fire, over which he was preparing
his breakfast. He turned on hearing a noise, and perceiving me,
shrieked loudly, and quitting the hut, ran across the fields with
a speed of which his debilitated form hardly appeared capable.
His appearance, different from any I had ever before seen,
and his flight somewhat surprised me. But I was enchanted by the
appearance of the hut; here the snow and rain could not penetrate;
the ground was dry; and it presented to me then as exquisite and
divine a retreat as Pandemonium appeared to the demons of hell
after their sufferings in the lake of fire. I greedily devoured
the remnants of the shepherd's breakfast, which consisted of bread,
cheese, milk, and wine; the latter, however, I did not like. Then,
overcome by fatigue, I lay down among some straw and fell asleep.
"It was noon when I awoke, and allured by the warmth of the sun,
which shone brightly on the white ground, I determined to
recommence my travels; and, depositing the remains of the
peasant's breakfast in a wallet I found, I proceeded across the
fields for several hours, until at sunset I arrived at a village.
How miraculous did this appear! The huts, the neater cottages, and
stately houses engaged my admiration by turns. The vegetables in
the gardens, the milk and cheese that I saw placed at the windows
of some of the cottages, allured my appetite. One of the best of
these I entered, but I had hardly placed my foot within the door
before the children shrieked, and one of the women fainted.
The whole village was roused; some fled, some attacked me, until,
grievously bruised by stones and many other kinds of missile weapons,
I escaped to the open country and fearfully took refuge in a low hovel,
quite bare, and making a wretched appearance after the palaces I had
beheld in the village. This hovel however, joined a cottage of a neat
and pleasant appearance, but after my late dearly bought experience,
I dared not enter it. My place of refuge was constructed of wood,
but so low that I could with difficulty sit upright in it. No wood,
however, was placed on the earth, which formed the floor, but it was dry;
and although the wind entered it by innumerable chinks, I found it an
agreeable asylum from the snow and rain.
"Here, then, I retreated and lay down happy to have found a shelter,
however miserable, from the inclemency of the season, and still more
from the barbarity of man. As soon as morning dawned I crept from my kennel,
that I might view the adjacent cottage and discover if I could remain in the
habitation I had found. It was situated against the back of the cottage
and surrounded on the sides which were exposed by a pig sty and a
clear pool of water. One part was open, and by that I had crept in;
but now I covered every crevice by which I might be perceived with
stones and wood, yet in such a manner that I might move them
on occasion to pass out; all the light I enjoyed came through the sty,
and that was sufficient for me.
"Having thus arranged my dwelling and carpeted it with clean straw,
I retired, for I saw the figure of a man at a distance, and I
remembered too well my treatment the night before to trust myself
in his power. I had first, however, provided for my sustenance for
that day by a loaf of coarse bread, which I purloined, and a cup
with which I could drink more conveniently than from my hand of the
pure water which flowed by my retreat. The floor was a little raised,
so that it was kept perfectly dry, and by its vicinity to the chimney
of the cottage it was tolerably warm.
"Being thus provided, I resolved to reside in this hovel until
something should occur which might alter my determination.
It was indeed a paradise compared to the bleak forest, my former
residence, the rain-dropping branches, and dank earth. I ate my
breakfast with pleasure and was about to remove a plank to
procure myself a little water when I heard a step, and looking
through a small chink, I beheld a young creature, with a pail on
her head, passing before my hovel. The girl was young and of
gentle demeanour, unlike what I have since found cottagers and
farmhouse servants to be. Yet she was meanly dressed, a coarse
blue petticoat and a linen jacket being her only garb; her fair
hair was plaited but not adorned: she looked patient yet sad.
I lost sight of her, and in about a quarter of an hour she returned
bearing the pail, which was now partly filled with milk. As she
walked along, seemingly incommoded by the burden, a young man met her,
whose countenance expressed a deeper despondence. Uttering a few
sounds with an air of melancholy, he took the pail from her head and
bore it to the cottage himself. She followed, and they disappeared.
Presently I saw the young man again, with some toolsin his hand,
cross the field behind the cottage; and the girl was also busied,
sometimes in the house and sometimes in the yard. "On examining
my dwelling, I found that one of the windows of the cottage had
formerly occupied a part of it, but the panes had been filled
up with wood. In one of these was a small and almost
imperceptible chink through which the eye could just penetrate.
Through this crevice a small room was visible, whitewashed and
clean but very bare of furniture. In one corner, near a small
fire, sat an old man, leaning his head on his hands in a
disconsolate attitude. The young girl was occupied in arranging
the cottage; but presently she took something out of a drawer,
which employed her hands, and she sat down beside the old man,
who, taking up an instrument, began to play and to produce sounds
sweeter than the voice of the thrush or the nightingale. It was a
lovely sight, even to me, poor wretch who had never beheld aught
beautiful before. The silver hair and benevolent countenance of
the aged cottager won my reverence, while the gentle manners of
the girl enticed my love. He played a sweet mournful air which
I perceived drew tears from the eyes of his amiable companion,
of which the old man took no notice, until she sobbed audibly; he then
pronounced a few sounds, and the fair creature, leaving her work,
knelt at his feet. He raised her and smiled with such kindness and
affection that I felt sensations of a peculiar and overpowering nature;
they were a mixture of pain and pleasure, such as I had never before
experienced, either from hunger or cold, warmth or food; and I withdrew
from the window, unable to bear these emotions.
"Soon after this the young man returned, bearing on his shoulders
a load of wood. The girl met him at the door, helped to relieve
him of his burden, and taking some of the fuel into the cottage,
placed it on the fire; then she and the youth went apart into a nook
of the cottage, and he showed her a large loaf and a piece of cheese.
She seemed pleased and went into the garden for some roots and plants,
which she placed in water, and then upon the fire. She afterwards
continued her work, whilst the young man went into the garden
and appeared busily employed in digging and pulling up roots.
After he had been employed thus about an hour, the young woman
joined him and they entered the cottage together.
"The old man had, in the meantime, been pensive, but on the
appearance of his companions he assumed a more cheerful air,
and they sat down to eat. The meal was quickly dispatched.
The young woman was again occupied in arranging the cottage,
the old man walked before the cottage in the sun for a few minutes,
leaning on the arm of the youth. Nothing could exceed in beauty
the contrast between these two excellent creatures. One was old,
with silver hairs and a countenance beaming with benevolence and love;
the younger was slight and graceful in his figure, and his features
were moulded with the finest symmetry, yet his eyes and attitude
expressed the utmost sadness and despondency. The old man returned
to the cottage, and the youth, with tools different from those he
had used in the morning, directed his steps across the fields.
"Night quickly shut in, but to my extreme wonder, I found that
the cottagers had a means of prolonging light by the use of tapers,
and was delighted to find that the setting of the sun did not put an
end to the pleasure I experienced in watching my human neighbours.
In the evening the young girl and her companion were employed in
various occupations which I did not understand; and the old man
again took up the instrument which produced the divine sounds that
had enchanted me in the morning. So soon as he had finished, the
youth began, not to play, but to utter sounds that were monotonous,
and neither resembling the harmony of the old man's instrument nor
the songs of the birds; I since found that he read aloud, but at
that time I knew nothing of the science of words or letters.
"The family, after having been thus occupied for a short time,
extinguished their lights and retired, as I conjectured, to rest."
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