I washed my mind in a silver cup and tasted the weight of the world
Stumbling through the streets with Ginsberg and wine and 1066
They offered me a pass into their club and I fell from the gutter onto their pedestal
Three well worn copies of the book in my hand
And a thousand people listening attentively
The pond was behind me and the steps at my feet
I chose to climb but my hands were dirty
And I could no longer wash them
They fell before me like William at Pevensey as soon as I opened my mouth
I spoke nonsense, gibberish, and they applauded
They handed me their money without even a second thought
They said they wanted nothing in return
But they took my mind anyway
The musicians played on from the platform above us and we listened to the grass
Simon Estes throwing pennies at the windmills
He looked to me with a lost world in his eyes and said that it is only a northern song
I once slept behind a market where they sold fish and dreamed of something else
Now I taste the eggs of the fish as their hands press them to my lips
I traded the that for this
They decided that there was something in my mind that they wanted
They reached into my ear
They tried to extract it by any means necessary
They made me into their beast their pet their amusement
They gave me trinkets and lies
I walked away from the things that I had
And into their embrace
Incense cannot hide the smell of a rotting corpse
The corner held me with a drink in my claw
I sat on the floor and watched them walk in front of me
A dead man held a record in his hand
And the four boys in green looked out
I tried to remember the things my father said to me when we walked behind the fire house
We watched the water raise over the hills and rush into the valley to our feet
And he turned to me and said
Believe in yourself and do the right thing and
A lot of other rubbish that I can't bother to remember
I have new friends now
Friends that care about me and laugh at my jokes
They listen to my speeches and applaud at my brilliance
I am a shining beacon of light into their meaningless lives
My greatness is unequaled
My mind is a comprehending machine with the universe unfurled before it
Spread out over the grass
And as the orchestra plays on above me, I peek underneath one last time
And the blades are yellow
And I can still see the incense burning
But I can't smell it any more.
I held her hand as we walked through the park
She opened her mouth and formed words but nothing came out
But yet I understood her inner truths
We discovered each other's flavors and textures
And I became wholly consumed by her delicate fire
And when I look into her eyes I see nothing but a placid pool
Together we are, intertwined in this universe laid open before me
I am the master of this field, and she follows me so
When I speak, I can hear only her hands applauding
And her eyes look as full as I feel
I pulled my father from the lake, our hands clenched together one last time
He looked into my eyes and called me a dormouse
Then he let go of my hand and fell into the abyss
He was a fool
I threw the incense out the window because the room smells fresh without it
They applaud another man now; he stands before us speaking great things
I sit in the front row, hearing his words; they flow through me like wine
And I am brought up to my feet, my hands slapping together with a great vigor
Peter is his name, and he shines brilliantly into my life
I peeked under the universe again, and all I found was a field full of dirt
There is no grass
I looked back, and there is no universe
I close my eyes and think of things
Things that once were
I can remember these things, but I cannot imagine the things that will be
Remember what the dormouse said
Remember what the dormouse said
I don't remember what the dormouse said
This is an original poem by me, written in several drafts from 1999 to 2003. I'd love to hear your feedback on it.