...
Like you care. Fortunately, since this is
me we're talking about, I have a
dazzling and
overdone rationalization for this
seemingly banal event. I thought perhaps you might be
interested at least to see what
horrid tangle of
irrational logic I've come up with next. Well,
here she is.
I couldn't
quit smoking. I know that
tobacco is medically the most
dangerous of the
type 1 substances. It's
more addictive than heroin, kills more people than
crack, etc. But...but but but...smoking doesn't
feel wrong like
smoking crack would feel wrong. I've only been smoking for about
three years, and I smoke about a
pack a day, which I know is a little much, but...heeeeey.
Wait a minute.
Tobacco. OLD SHIT. People have been
smoking tobacco (and
pot, to be honest) for
thousands of years. But but but...tobacco kills about a
quarter of a million people every year now. Surely it didn't
always kill that many people, or we'd be
extinct from smoking by now. Hell, we were
smoking before there WERE a quarter of a
million people around.
So
what's the catch? Well, I think I got it.
Modern technology has made it
too easy for us to
smoke too much. I mean, fuckin' a, how in the hell could you smoke
20 cigarettes in a day, even a
hundred years ago? You'd spend all day just
cutting,
rolling,
smoking, and doing it again. Now, we buy this
neat little box...you see where I'm going with this.
Let's get a
little more esoteric, or you all won't believe this is
really me talking. I think that
smoking is a
pretty natural thing. I mean, fuck, the
aboriginees did it; the
arabs did it; the
Jews in Jesus' time did it; the
Egyptians and
Babylonians and
Sumerians and
medieval people and
Victorians....and
huge chunks of us figured it out
independantly, too. My problem with quitting smoking is that I don't
feel the natural urge to quit, like I do with genuinely
unhealthy things like
overeating,
oversleeping (or
not sleeping) and shit like that. I feel the
urge to
smoke less, yes...and I feel the
urge to
hand-roll my
smokes now.
OK, so I
switched two days ago. Now I
carry a
pouch and a
pack of papers equalling about
fifty potential cigarettes. They don't have
filters, but then again I'm down from 20 a day to about
seven. I also spent
three bucks on
six packs worth of tobacco and papers. AND I have some
cover for the
vast amount of
smoking paraphrenilia littering my house.
All in all, I'm
happy.