I never

A rather simple drinking game for as many players as you can fit around the table.

All you do is go round the table one at a time, each person saying they have never done something. Anyone who HAS actually done that thing must take a drink.

Easy Huh?

Deadly more like. It's less a drinking game and more a 'getting to know you'/'find out your sexual secrets' theme night.

The problems start as the drink kicks in, you commence with something such as

"I have never got so drunk I didn't make it home"
You continue with the likes of
"I have never had sex in a library"
Which quickly degrades to
"I have never had anal sex"
And finally you start to get real personal with such classics as
"I have never cheated on my girlfriend with her sister"
Then the direct approach steps into play
"I have never had sex with Brian, the guy behind the bar here, whilst still going out with my current boyfriend, you bitch!"

Fun, but don't play it with people you know and want to keep knowing. Once one personal jibe is made the whole charade simply explodes in a flurry of getting your own back.

I never is a marvelous combination of a drinking game and Truth (as in half of the party game Truth or Dare). A small group of people all gets together, each with a drink, alcoholic or not, in hand. One person starts, saying "I never (did x)." Then, whoever has done x, on the theory that one fidgets when nervous, must take a sip of their drink. Play continues in a circle.

This game can be used as a way to pry into the private lives of your friends, as it's essentially a game of yes/no questions. It can be used as a sideways way of revealing information about yourself, by starting with the more general to encourage your friends to pry. And it can be used simply as an excuse to drink, by saying such things as "I have never been named {speaker's name}," to which only the speaker would drink.

The game ends when someone refuses to participate due to the content of the questions, or when no one is creative enough to think of any more questions.

One of the silly required "get-to-know-your-university" classes here tends to use a non-alcoholic variant on this game as an ice-breaker. Instead of progressing in an orderly fashion, though, it goes like this:

Speaker stands in center of a circle of people in chairs (no chair for the speaker) and says something he/she has never done. Everyone who has done said thing gets up and runs for another chair, sometimes resulting in various minor injuries. Odd man out has to be the next speaker.

Combining this set of rules with alcohol (i.e. take a sip or gulp a shot and then run) gets really messy (and sometimes dangerous) really fast. But we just keep trying it...

The rules of the game sound oh-so simple, I agree. But take heed. After a few drinks, you will, and let me repeat that, will start drinking for things you haven't done as well as the things you have, due to the drunken haze as well as the feeling that you should be drinking because other people are.

Other Player*: I have never had sex with a man.
/me takes a drink.
Lord NAgasaki: SHIT! I was confused! I was thirsty! honest...

* Names withheld to protect the innocent.

"I have never..."

I Have Never is what those of us who don't want to know what "nevering" is call I Never. It is a simple drinking game, best played about halfway through an evening, preferably at the point where everyone has had a few pints and is feeling rather good about the world. It can be played with pretty much any group of legal drinking age, though it is probably wise that parents and other easily-shocked acquaintances are not present. As shall become apparent, the better the other players know you, the more drunk you will become. Many university societies use the game an ice-breaker, usually in conjunction with other house rules.

The Setup

Everyone should have an alcoholic drink in front of them. This should preferably be of a reasonably low percentage and reasonably voluminous unless you are playing with Russians, Poles, Irish, Scots, Rugby Players, Women's Hockey teams, Medical Students, or Vikings. A pint of beer is perfect.

Generally, it is best to decide on a chairman of the game. The chairman's role is to resolve any disputes and to hand out penalties for any broken rules. It is also the chairman's duty to remember who's turn it is.

Everyone should sit around a table with their drinks in front of them and, once people are ready and the rules have been explained, the chairman should begin the game.

Play

The basic rules of I Have Never are very simple. The person who's turn it is calls out to the table "I have never..." followed by something that they have never done. Anyone who cannot honestly say that they have also never done whatever it was must drink a forfeit, usually one or two fingers of their drink.¹ Play proceeds to the left.

Depending on the group, there may or may not be penalties for dishonesty. For instance, if "I have never had sex on the beach" is called and Simon doesn't drink, but Joanne knows that he has, she may chose to inform the chairman, and the chairman may insist that Simon down half his pint. It can even be mandatory to challenge dishonesty and inconsistency may be harshly punished. This latter rule has lead to the UWA Paintball Society traditionally opening with "I have never slept with Sarah" and the following players calling "I have never slept with" then naming one of the people who drank in the first question, thus forcing Sarah to drink rather a lot...

Naturally, as with other truth-telling games, if it is not played light-heartedly, there is a high risk of humiliation. For this reason it is often a good idea to set a limit on the number of rounds that will be played. With a large group of people, twice around the table can be a sensible number since it allows people to exact revenge on those who have embarrassed them without descending into potentially scandalous one-upmanship. It is also possible for the chairman to enforce punishments for "dishonourable questions," thus disallowing "I have never cheated on my current partner" and other such mood-killing declarations.

Aftermath

Hopefully no-one has been too embarrassed by the game, but if anyone has, it is usually a good idea to ensure that what has been said goes no further. Prizes can be given for the best question, the most exciting person (i.e. The one who drank the most), the dullest person, and the Honesty Prize if anyone admitted to anything truly impressive. It can also be a good idea to follow the game with another which will enable any scores to be settled without anything further being revealed. Converting Mornington Crescent into a drinking game works exceptionally well for this, whether or not those present are aware of the rules.

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¹Note, it is possible that some people will be drinking anyway, after all, they may be thirsty, they may not be concentrating, they may have been out of the room when the game started... their protests that they have never in fact slept with their boss should be dealt with by the chairman. One way to avoid such instances is to insist that all social drinking be performed with the left hand, whereas all in-game drinking be performed with the right.

Tut-tut. All the above writeups are heavy (too heavy!) on the rules and consequences, but all too light on strategy, and on the inhibition-stripping payoff of this game when played in a largish group of people (I would say six was about the minimum for a good game).

First of all, forget about sitting round a table; the more physically comfortable the participants are, the more candid and pissed they are likely to get. Also, let people drink as much or as little as they feel comfortable - the game can go on for hours when the going is good, and it's funnier if people are not throwing up in each others' laps. As for chairpeople monitoring whose turn it is, who cares? It's a drinking game, not The Weakest Link. And forget penalties! I would also hesitate to impose limits on the size of the group, as the best and funniest game of "I Never" that I've ever been involved in was played with a fluctuating group of coming and going participants who numbered about 30 at the peak of proceedings.

For the best results, it helps to have as mixed a group of people as possible; some who know each other intimately, some who are only just getting acquainted; some established couples and some people who may or may not fancy each other by the end of the night; and some ol' slappers mixed in with some nubile innocents.

And finally the strategy. At its ultimate use as a social lubricant, one plays in order to have a laugh at other people's discomfiture, and, in a sportsmanlike fashion, give them the occasional laugh at one's own expense. It's not about revealing shameful secrets and tarnishing anyone's name for ever, so I would encourage and indeed enjoin you to lie, lie, lie about anything that could cause you pain to have revealed. Just don't drink, how hard can it be? Oh, you're Irish? Oh well. Just brazen it out then.

You will find, as the game gets going, the drink gets taken and your turn comes around, that you will say "I Never..." followed by something outrageous that you definitely have done, and the challenge at this point is to remember the next morning who else sipped their pint. But for as long as you can remain relatively sober, the expert's strategy is to declaim something vaguely naughty or outright crazy that you know for a fact at least one of the people present has been involved in, and watch everyone else laugh or stare at them in amazement. So, for example, if I know that my happily married friend Mary had once come home from a party wearing someone else's underwear, I will say that and then glance at her smugly. Get it? It's a great way to let your friends' friends get to know them a bit better, and also - when played with finesse - to match-make by revealing choice facts about some people that you think other people will fancy.

Yes, scores will get settled, and one-upmanship will ensue, both in the "you are a bigger reprobate than me" and the "I'm a bigger reprobate than you" arenas. But, firstly, you can always avoid major damage to your reputation by, as previously mentioned, fibbing through your dentures, and secondly, if the people you're playing with are easily shocked then don't play with them in the first place. It is, apart from being a roaring laugh, a trust game; you don't judge people, and you trust them not to judge you in return. And hey, that's what a good night out with friends is all about, right?