That's it! I'm so goddamn sick of people who see that there's a problem in their life which needs fixing and who subsequently do absolutely jack shit to sort it out, instead resorting to dumping the same problem on people week after week. They don't even get rid of the symptom, never mind the problem.

It seems that everywhere I look there are people crying "Nobody loves me" or "Why is my life so bad?". I mean, Jesus Christ, I have all the same problems as you do. I'm not in a relationship, I hardly see (or even speak to) most of my family any more and I don't appear to be going anywhere in life. And you know what? I deal with it. I look at the problem, look at the possible solutions, pick one and go for it.

I don't go around asking people to reaffirm every little decision I make. I don't cry about every tiny problem I have. When life gives me lemons, I either make lemonade or eat my sour goddamn lemons all up. I don't sit around and mope in an attention seeking depressed state. (And yes, I AM aware of people who are actually, medically depressed. Fair enough. Those guys need help.)

People like these are the same people who are keeping psychiatrists in unneeded business, people. It's all a scam. Your problems are your problems. If you ask for help, for God's sake at least try and do something with the help you're given, otherwise you're wasting not only your time, but the time of the people who care enough to be doling out the advice in the first place.

This rant brought to you by the letters 'R' and 'D', supported in secret by the letter 'H'.
Well, it's been about 8 months sence my last write up. Damn, that was a while ago.
Lots have changed. I am now at Tinker AFB in Oklahoma. (YEAHHHHH!!!!..... um, no.) Well, it's not so bad. I got a '66 Mustang an well, at the moment, it's lookin' at the Pearly White Gates until it gets into the shop. That'll be soon. Payday is 4 days away. (A real YEAHHHH!!!) No computer now, just mooching off my buddies until I can afford to build myself a clawhammer system. That'll be nice.

I can't believe how right I was in in October 10, 2001. Everything but he size of my bonus, but so far, I like it. And, I was REALLY right about the 6 weeks of hell, with a guy yelling at me in the write-up.

Now that I'm through it all, all I can do is relax, and bask in my own self-glory. Besides, thats all I own. ...and I'll node til the day i die...

I have finally attained some measure of closure.

I received the news yesterday that my ex of four years has become pregnant less than three months after we broke up. I found myself struggling with my emotions: anger that she had clearly not had any trouble dealing with the break up, sadness that she had done something so irresponsible (it was the result of a drunken night with her “new boyfriend”), and happiness that she had done it (callous I know but I can’t help it).

She had meant everything to me, and our break up has been dominating every part of my life and thankfully I have had friends and family to rely on (you know who you are, and I thank you most sincerely). I had thought she had felt the same grief, and when we met to discuss issues that had remained after I moved out, she seemed unhappy as well.

Now I can sleep again, the nightmares have left my thoughts and I feel more at peace. When a relationship fails after such a long time there is always the little thought that if this, or possibly this had happened differently, then maybe none of it would have happened; this nags at you, it eats away at you constantly, and you can’t bring yourself to let it go.

This has achieved that which I alone could not. I have let her go, and I can no longer bring myself to hate her, but neither do I want her back. I only hope she manages to deal with the situation she is now in.

I don't know exactly why I am writing this, but I feel the need to vent a bit after watching the games.

I hate German and English soccer teams. I always have. Likely I always will. At this point it is deeply ingrained in me. It has nothing to do with Germany, the nation, or England, the nation, or the people of either one. It's their style. They play ugly fucking soccer.

Tonight's Germany-Cameroon game was a classic example. Cameroon had really elegant ball-handling skills, some amazing passes, and mostly very clean defense. Germany's primary defense strategy, on the other hand, appeared to be "every time they get the ball near our goal, trip them or push them down." It's ugly, it's bad sportsmanship, and it is, IMHO, antithetical to what the beautiful game of soccer is all about. Unfortunately, it is an effective defense strategy, in the model of "by any means necessary" effectiveness. And Cameroon, bless their graceful hearts, lost.

Now, Cameroon is not a team I especially care about, not in the way that I care about, say, Japan or Spain. It's the game I care about. I like a clean, elegant game in which both teams display more skill at passing and dribbling than brute force. Soccer is not simply a sport; it is an aesthetic experience. Sports can be art in the way that nothing else except dance can be--the art of the human body at its best. That is what I want to see when I turn on the TV to watch soccer or any other sport. That's why I like Spain and Spanish clubs; they tend to play really elegant soccer and do it so well. That is also why I am a diehard supporter of Asian football--they tend to play cleaner games.

Any fucking monkey can tackle. Not any monkey can make some of those passes Cameroon was making tonight. But, sadly, soccer is here again a mirror of life. You may have all the style and all the skill, but if the monkey comes and tackles you, you are still going down.

If you don't believe Germany was playing a nasty game, check out the statistics of how many fouls each team had. I don't know the final tally, but last I checked Germany had about twice as many. It is true that both teams had the same number of yellow cards, but that is mainly because Cameroon often started threatening the German players after especially nasty and obvious fouls and were punished for that. But the fact remains that Germany did the vast majority of the fouling.

9:25am: Oatmeal. MMmm.

10:15am: Orange shirt today. More later.

11:20am: I have discovered a hole in the shirt. I hope my co-workers didn't notice.

1:17pm: They noticed.

1:19pm: Crap.

1:47pm: Woo! Feelin' funky.

2:20pm: Uh-oh.

2:24pm: I think I may have crapped my pants.

2:31pm: Wait a minute.

2:34pm: False alarm.

2:36pm: It was just the oatmeal from earlier.

Well what can I say, the World Cup seems to be going very well so far and so may it continue!!!

A fantastic result for Ireland, they only needed two goals to qualify but hey..... they got three !

France is out of the competition after not scoring a single goal in the entire tournament.....Oh how the mighty have fallen after such a glorious reputation (both Ex-european championships and World Champions).

And England beat Argentina, what a result. Some of you may not realise the long history between England and Argentina (not including the Falklands). The English have basically felt bitter about being beaten by the so called 'hand of God' goal, which was a blatent cheat, costing England there cup dreams. Ever since, matches between England and Argentina have had a slightly different meaning.

Now Im just hoping England do well tomorrow, if they do they also qualify.

Who will win the World Cup ???? Well we will just have to wait and see.

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