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Space Ghost Coast to Coast - Episode Guide
Season 7 - Episode 77 - First aired May 7th, 2001

Previous Episode - "Kentucky Nightmare" - Next Episode

Guest: Willie Nelson
Written by: Dave Willis, Matt Maiellaro

The episode opens with Space Ghost announcing that the guest is going to be Corey Feldman. Zorak inquires about the shark that's sitting on the floor. Space Ghost gives a few rather skittish answers.

Space Ghost: The merger between this talk show and that shark. I know I told you this.
Zorak: Well, I don't remember.
Space Ghost: Look, that is Ol' Kentucky Shark, and he has been there. Okay, Zorak and Moltar? Are we clear now?
Zorak: Tch, yeah...You don't want me to play you to your desk?
Space Ghost: When have we ever done that? We've never done it that way! And if you think you're gonna get sympathy from the shark, well then you won't.

Space Ghost sits at his desk and Willie Nelson is lowered on the monitor. Space Ghost introduces Willie to the shark and mentions that the shark is the mascot of the failing liquor chain that bought the show. Zorak calls him on this revelation and a short conversation about Space Ghost's "alleged lie" ensues.

Space Ghost: Look, in the heat of conversation, Zorak, I may have said certain things I don't believe to be true.
Zorak: So... you lied.
Space Ghost: Are you slow? The alleged lie that you might have heard me saying, allegedly moments ago? That's a parasite that lives in my neck.

Willie Nelson and Space Ghost have an exchange about where Space Ghost is from (Planet of Hollywood) and where he got his clothes (Made in Malaysia by Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn.) Space Ghost then notices a bear wandering around outside the window. The bear wanders in through a door that Moltar had opened to smoke. Space Ghost then reads Willie a question.

Space Ghost: This next question is brought to you by Ol' Kentucky Shark, of Kentucky Nightmare Talkshow Liquor Corporation. You might remember him.
Space Ghost: Okay, I'll just jump in here. Willie, who wrote the extremely famous phrase, "A shark on whiskey is mighty risky. A shark on beer is a beer engineer"?
Willie Nelson: Uh...
Space Ghost: Give up?
Willie Nelson: Yeah, yeah.
Space Ghost: The answer we're looking for, Willie, is Doctor Worm.
Zorak: Who's Doctor Worm?
Space Ghost: Nobody, so shut up.

Willie then refers to Space Ghost as a "good looking cowboy" and a "Space Cowboy" which prompts Space Ghost and Zorak to do a painfully long discordant version of "Space Cowboy." As Space Ghost is walking back to his desk, he trips over the shark. And then gets attacked by the bear. He accuses Zorak of secreting something that's attracting the bear. Zorak indignantly notes that he hasn't done anything, then he secrets a yellow cloud. Space Ghost sends Zorak outside and comments "Crack open a window." He then remembers Bobcat Goldthwait saying "crack a window, will ya?" from a previous episode. Space Ghost thinks this is funny and tells various people to crack windows before being attacked by the bear again. Space Ghost goes the the control room and asks Moltar about the bear. Moltar shows Space Ghost a documentary about bears and sharks entitled "Nature's Best Friends" that Space Ghost had done for public television but had been rejected for being stupid and grossly inaccurate. After the documentary is over, Zorak secrets another cloud and comments that it will travel all the way to the village.

Space Ghost: Moltar, Zorak's secretion will certainly wipe out the village's sandwich shop.
Moltar: There ain't no village.
Space Ghost: The village!
Moltar: There ain't no village!

Space Ghost returns from the village carrying a huge sandwich.

Space Ghost: I was too late. This is all that was left. Their six foot party sub. Their king, Randy, made it for me, while I waited. No one will ever know their way of life.

After Space Ghost is attacked by the bear yet again, he goes off to try and re-evaluate the merger with Doctor Worm, who is very drunk. Space Ghost returns to the studio and decides to do the show across the studio from the bear. The bear charges him and carries him around while everyone laughs. He goes back to Doctor Worm's place where he is threatened drunkenly. Space Ghost asks Moltar to get more shots of the shark, but they can't find Old Kentucky. Space Ghost asks Willie to entertain the bear while he looks for the shark. He finds the shark outside.

Space Ghost: Old Kentucky, you shouldn't be outside there in that sun. You need to come inside and put on some sunblock and a wide brimmed...
The shark explodes.
Space Ghost: Oh no!

To explain to Space Ghost what happened with the shark, Moltar shows Space Ghost more of the documentary.

Space Ghost: Why do sharks explode?
The camera pans up to shark in a tree; it explodes with a bang. Next the screen shows an illustration of a shark with firecrackers in its head labeled "brains" and "sexual organs."
Space Ghost: This is because sometimes their brains and sexual organs are made out of M-80's.
A wooded scene with another shark is shown.
Space Ghost: Sometimes, to attract mates, a shark will explode.
The shark explodes. Several other sharks are then shown lying on the ground. They explode in sequence as the narration continues.
Space Ghost: And sometimes they explode just to attract giant killer bees.

Due to all of the windows being cracked, giant killer bees infest the station. Space Ghost shouts "To the creek!" and the camera cuts to Space Ghost, Zorak and Moltar standing in a creek. While talking about what went wrong with the show, two shark fins approach and Zorak disappears into the creek with a splash.

Watching the episode too often.
Oh, and I stole DyRE's layout.

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