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"What?!?"

She stopped chopping vegetables and put down the knife. "'Maybe' is a pussy answer," she repeated slowly, turning to face him. "What part didn't you understand?"

He looked shocked and slightly angry. "Blow me!"

"Eloquent, and I'd love to later, darling," she teased, "but for me to do that you're going to have to be a real man and not a P-U-S-S-Y." She accentuated each letter with a flick of water.

He didn't smile. "I'm having a rough time here, and you're not helping."

"Well, suck it up and deal," she smiled. "And you're not answering my question. I asked you a direct question and you brought me this weak-ass 'maybe' crap, Meat. Don't be such a lamer - stand for something. So, 'Do you want to quit your job?'"

"I don't know!" he answered defensively.

"Alright! Good! Now we're getting somewhere," she said, turning back to the cutting board. "Why don't you know?"

"Wait a minute. 'I don't know' is okay, but 'maybe', isn't? What the fuck is up with that?"

She stopped chopping again and looked at him. "Look here Mister Man - 'yes' and 'no' mean what they say, they're certain, you can stand on them. 'I don't know' means you're unsure, but you're certain you're unsure. What does 'maybe' mean? Jack shit, that's what it means. Wishy-washy, limp-wristed, pansy-ass bullshit. It means fucking statistics and contingencies! It means 'It's up to the commitee', 'I'm afraid to say something that I might have to defend later', and 'I have to check with my wife because I'm too much of a punk-ass little BITCH to make a decision on my own'!"

"Okay, honey. Now I know. How about you let me finish making dinner?" He stood very still with his hands raised. She'd forgotten to put the knife down and had been gesticulating with it during her tirade.

She carefully set that knife on the cutting board. "Sorry. Yeah, why don't you."

"Rough day at work?"

"My boss couldn't be decisive even with a gun to his head. Nothing new, just frustrating. Fucking middle management suckup."

"So, do you want to quit your job?" he said, enjoying turning the tables.

She punched him affectionately on the shoulder. "No."


Based on a conversation between me and my wife, Cheri.

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