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This node contains sexual material unsuitable for minors and the sensitive. You have been warned!


It was last year, during a trip to Amsterdam that was to involve far too many drugs, too much alcohol and much "window shopping"

The four of us were walking beside the canal on the main street of Amsterdam's red light district at about 4pm. We had just stopped and given the 2 guys stalking us some fuck off vibes, scaring them off. As we turned to continue walking, a guy beckoned us into a side alley: warily, we followed him a little way in (maybe 6 feet). He offered us some tickets to a "show" that he said we would enjoy. Having already spent several hours smoking cannabis and drinking coffee and beer, we agreed and paid over the perhaps 7 pound fee. He led us across the street, crossing a bridge to a set of steps guarded by a stereotypical blonde dutch guy. Aforementioned Dutch guy said, rapid fire, "Sticky Licky Sucky Fucky" (and some other words, which I forget) and led us up the stairs.

Inside we were looked over by some huge, scary bouncers and handed over our tickets. The room was maybe 10 metres on a side, with a low ceiling and a few rows of benches in front of the small stage. Everything was painted black, which struck as a little strange for some reason (I was stoned, don't expect me to make sense)

We sat down in the front row, on the empty side of the room and waited for the show to start. Whilst waiting, they played a generic American porn movie on a projection screen. By this point, I was more than a little nervous at being here. (tangent: why does an attack of nerves sober me up so quickly? Does adrenaline destroy inebriation?)

Everyone hushed as the screen rolled up and the curtains moved back on their noisy motors. Revealed was a very hunky guy with permed blonde hair sitting on the floor dressed in an old overcoat. Enter stage left: A tall dark haired woman dressed in a little black dress, complete with glitter handbag and stiletto heels.

The scenario was "Posh girl shags tramp" (that old chestnut? heh) After some undressing and kissing, she pulls down his pants to reveal a very large willy, to the audible astonishment of several of the men and women watching. What ensued was a little boring and mechanical: blowjob, cunnilingus, her on top and finally doggy style. I briefly wondered why he didn't ejaculate, but then realised that he is prolly performing for hours and hours...

More projection porn, then Miss whiplash comes on stage. Full leather and rubber gear, complete with whip. Why, oh fucking why did I sit in the front row? Help! Thankfully, she catches my eye and I shake my head slightly (phew!) So, she hauls this poor guy onto the stage and proceeds to whip him, then he gets to insert a leather dildo into her. He misses (D'oh!) and hits her ass instead, causing one bouncer to move ever so slightly closer to the stage. She copes with this unwarranted penetration quite well, laughing at the guy and kicking him off stage...

More generic projection porn. Then an older woman comes on stage smoking a cigar... well, you can guess what she did with it. However, the smoke ring trick got her a round of applause.

Well, that's it. About an hour of "entertainment", then leaving for the suddenly bright daylight outside.

I must admit, I was expecting more... sexiness. Unfortunately I have to be pragmatic and admit that the performers have prolly been doing those same shows for months or even years... They can hardly be relied upon to inject life and eroticism into something that old to them...

Hi, this is your old friend Berhardt Goats here, reminding you that I have always been "right from the start." Now, I could have called this article anything, or chosen from dozens of delightful potential titles. I did not do that.

I can't remember if I told you all, my friends, that I have been running with a group lately called White Nation Under God. It is a pretty good group. The leader is a nice young fellow named Brandon Hitler, and it is interesting that he has the same last name as my father's boss back in Germany, when we lived there in the 30s and 40s. We have informative and peaceful rallies to celebrate white people, who you don't hear enough about these days. We never heard about the accomplishments of white people or what it means to have "white power." It has been lost in our global culture.

Well, I'm naked right now, and I want to tell you why. Over the weekend, my new White Nation friends were having a big party at their underground club. It is a lot of loud, thrashing music, so it was a little tough on an older, bald man like myself. Then, as we came through a very crowded corridor, we came out into this big room with a stage, and there were a lot of people on the stage, greased up and doing very intimate things to each other that I never did when I was with my wife (for a brief period of time before she left me for a real estate tycoon).

I had seen strippers before, but that was always one girl on stage and a lot of nice older men like me, with sweaty foreheads and bald heads and fat bellies would give her dollars bills that were absolutely saturated with our sweat.

This was something else, this was a lot of men, no women were involved, and they were all muscular and perfectly structured from their hair to their DNA.

"The Master Race," Brandon Hitler explained to me. "For our viewing please. True Aryan blood."

Because I was nervous, I said, "May the Feast of Lucifer be upon you," even though I had no particular reason for saying it. All I knew was this was the first time I had seen The Master Race since my father had fled Germany after the fall of Berlin, and they built a nice wall that I liked very much (shame it came down).

"We retake this world now," Brandon said to me. "We take it back into the hands of the Aryan Brotherhood!"

That sounded good to me in theory, but there is no such thing as a theory that can be proven, which is why science has always failed us. My father had distrusted the intentions of the government he worked for when they focused so much attention on mechanical means of war and not enough on purging the undesirables and making the world a better place for people like your friend Behr. That military science had failed the Germans just as all science has given us nothing but disappointment and a failure to improve the worlds since 1622.

I know I'm just preaching to the choir here, so why don't we move on?

We used to have World's Fairs once upon a time. Now, we're all to busy on our little smart phones and laptops and stuff. We need to bring that back. World's Fairs. Write to me if you want to talk about it some more, but only if you already have my home address.

So, I am in this large room with the stage and all the naked Aryan men are up there gyrating against each other, putting greasy poles where no greasy pole should go, I couldn't believe it. I looked for Brandon Hitler in the crowd, but he was getting ready to make a speech. He denounced homosexuality and the mixing of races, everyone yelled about purity for a while, and then we started chanting "Lock her up! Lock her up!" for nearly twenty minutes. All during this time, the live sex show was still going on.

Amazing time. I hope to go again to this underground club. Write me at home, but only if you already have my home address, if you want to go with me next time.

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