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"Roleplayer Musk"


Gaseous Death (Incorporeal)
Hit Dice: 16d4+2 (104hp)
Initiative: -5
Speed: Fly 1 ft. (perfect)
AC: 20 (-5 Dex, +15 Natural)
Attacks: No melee, no ranged
Damage: Special
Face/Reach: 20 ft. by 20 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Choke, Blind, Induce Vomiting
Special Qualities: Clinging, Rebirth, Anti-Febreeze Field, Weakness to Fire
Saves: Fort +7, Ref +0, Will +15
Abilities: Str 1, Dex 1, Con 21, Wis 1, Int 1, Cha 15
Skills: Climb +3, Search +3
Feats: Bullheaded, Iron Will
Challenge Rating: 7
Treasure: Roll 1d100 on the "Getting a Girl to Come Inside" Table, fig 4-20
Alignment: Neutral evil.

The Roleplayer Musk is quite the formidable foe for up-and-coming adventurers who are finicky about the pungency of their enemies. This gaseous beast is not poisonous, but can very easily topple those who don't keep their wits about them.

While intangible insofar as physical combat goes, adventurers fortunate enough to tell the tale of their encounter will know there is a certain texture this stench has--undefinable, but undeniable. Nobody has had ample opportunity to study the melifluous balm, as it exists only in the deepest, darkest pits of dungeons, caverns and roleplayers' bedrooms; and cannot be found in a sterile, scientific environment. Occasionally, the musk can also be found in comics and collectibles shops all over the world.

The fact that it can be found all over the world, coupled with its tendency to live in the lairs of nerds, geeks and dweebs, has given rise to the idea that Roleplayer Musk is actually a byproduct of young, sweaty men (and occasionally women) who constantly eat Cheetos and drink (American) Mountain Dew. It is believed that vapors coming from the discarded ripped underwear, Boba Fett tee-shirts and caffeine hoodies piled up in the middle of the floor can permeate their surroundings on a molecular level. This could be why the smell is so hard to get rid of, even with the aid of fire.

Special Attacks:

Choke: The Roleplayer Musk can cause its victims to cease their breathing functions. The Musk makes a touch attack against the player to inflict choking. To resist this, one must make a Fortitude Save at a difficulty of 15. Treat damage as though the character were suffocating.

Blind: Any character to enter into the boundaries of the Musk must make a Fort Save (difficulty 15) to avoid being completely blinded. All rules for complete blindness apply as the character's vision is obscured by tears and closed eyelids.

Induce Vomiting: Those characters who are within reach of the Musk must make a Will Save (difficulty 13) to avoid vomiting at the abhorent smell. If the player fails, they will spend 1d4 turns tossing their cookies and will regain no hit points as a result of resting for that day.

Special Qualities:

Weakness to Fire: Fuck aerating, fuck washing, fuck fumigation: it's probably just best to burn the source of the Roleplayer Musk before it gets out of hand. Fire attacks made against a Roleplayer Musk or its source do normal damage, despite the Musk's intangibility.

Clinging: The Roleplayer Musk bonds with everything surrounding it, to the extent of its size. As such, only the strongest winds can blow away a Musk. The Musk has +10 in defense against wind and water attacks.

Rebirth: The Roleplaying Musk cannot be destroyed permenantly by any means, except for that of fire. If the Musk is destroyed while solidified, or by attacks from the ethereal plane, or if the source is put into a washing machine, it will return after 2d4 days as the fantasy geek goes on with his eating Cheetos, drinking Mountain Dew and sweating furiously.

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