Table Of Contents

Chapter I - Why should I insult?

"Why should I insult?" is not a bad question. It's actually quite a crappy question. Bad doesn't cover it. You are reading this chapter, which means you must have asked yourself this question, and are not sure of the point of insulting. Which ipso facto makes you an idiot. Do you know what ipso facto means? No? My God, you are even dumber that I thought. You are probably the stupidest person on earth. No, that doesn't half cover it. You would fail intelligence tests for amoeba, you moron, you imbecile, you fool. Fucking cretin. Go suck on a stick.

Now, I am sure you can understand the amount of pleasure I just got from insulting you, and I don't even know you! Imagine how much fun it can be to insult someone you do know! And even better - someone close to you! And better still - someone close to you in the midst of mental anguish. Why, it can almost drive them to suicide!

But of course, you must set your sights lower. During the first few months of using the techniques you will learn in this essay, you will improve, however you will be far from driving anyone to suicide. As your skills develop, you will find yourself more and more at ease with the insulting situations that arise, and eventually you should be able to drive a recently and happily married couple to mutual suicide with just a few well-placed words.

Back to Introduction . . . Forward to Chapter II - Who do I insult?

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