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1) A cliche often used to describe the birthing process. It really is miraculous in that a whole new person gets squeezed out of another, a living, thinking, intelligent, organized newborn ready to experience life on its own terms. However, the blood, pain, sweat, and general grossness of the experience tends to negate the feelings of wonder until it is all done and over with. It is not a sight for the weak of stomach.

2) (And this is the reason for this write-up in the first place)

It is a movie made by BYU's college of nursing pertaining to delivery and the sort of experience first-time parents can expect to have. Brigham Young University shows it to child Development classes, pre-natal classes, and various anatomy and nursing courses.

It is very graphic. Perhaps when having a crotch-level view of the delivery of your own child, or some other relative, you can get past the brutal nature of the process, but it's not quite the same when you don't know these people. Every year, many students (both male and female) pass out while viewing it, and some (including yours truly) pass out and seize. I'm not epileptic, but that was a result of the sheer trauma of the viewing experience.

My professor remarked that if the movie had gone on for about 15 more minutes, it would have been like a battle zone. Bodies lining the aisles, in the hallway, in the bathroom, popping up in unexpected places ...

The very worst of the three deliveries shown is the first, the forceps delivery. The child is in breech position, but has dropped down sufficiently that they'll go ahead and try a vaginal birth. The poor mother is all set to go when the obstetrician up and informs her that he's going to have to help bring the baby out with some forceps.

These forceps are huge. Bigger than salad forks. I look behind me and every girl in the class is grimacing and crossing her legs. And het he goes ahead and shoves them right up her, pushing fairly hard until he finds the kid's head and somehow clamps them onto him. And then he's pulling with all his might and she's pushing and the entirely class is scarred for life. This is when most of the fainting (and my seizure) occured.

Another delivery is a c-section, and the last is a normal birth. I cannot report more in-depth on the nature of these, as I was lying down in an annex behind the classroom and trying to recover.

So beware if you ever have to see a film entitled The Miracle of Birth.

Adoption is looking like a really really good option right now...

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