sitting in front of your house,
light rain at early dawn,
working on a love letter,
with the radio on...

~Bonnie Raitt, Love Letter~


I'm not ready to go yet, not ready to end this night.

Warm soft lips pressed up against mine. I can still feel the imprint of them against my mouth. I touch my fingertips to my lips. Mmm, your gloss clings to them tasting of candy apple. Scent of lilacs blooming next to the porch where we kissed. Your light hand on my shoulder, the barest touch. I can still feel the electricity there.

"Goodnight, I had a wonderful time," you said in that sweet voice and a shy smile. Click, the sound of the door closing behind you.

Did I tell you I wanted to watch the sunrise with you? I understand why you couldn't of course. You need to be with your kids when they wake up. You need to be in bed feigning sleep as they sneak in, pounce upon you, and eagerly share their dreams from the night. I love how you make them feel so special.

I walked back to the Beetle, climbed in but I couldn't drive away. I saw a vision in the window of the second floor. Yes, YOU. Your window faces the rising sun. Did you plan that on purpose so you could greet it each day?

I was aware of the sky, purple and soft holding back the gathering light, a backdrop for the approaching clouds. I was more focused on you, though, first noticing the approaching day. Your eyes light up at dawn. Did you know that? I could see them sparkle all the way from here. You smiled as you approached the window. My heart skips a beat every time you smile. Yes, it does.

Did you know I was watching? I think you did because I saw your smile turn mischievous. You let down your hair, then crossed your arms before you grabbing the bottom edges of your shirt. Up, over, and off, spinning. Quickly replacing it with your hair. You tease me! I am sure you knew I was watching. Yet, you never looked my way. You stepped away a moment, returning with a lavender night shirt though it was morning. You brushed out your hair in long smooth strokes. Can I brush it for you later? Your face glowed in the brightening dawn. You stood transfixed watching the sunrise, minute by minute, breathing it in. It reflected in your face, a spotlight. Does it warm it warms up the walls of your bedroom?

Then, I saw it too. I saw the reflection of the sun in your window, rising up your body. Do you know how lucky I am? We got to watch the sunrise together after all. Even better because I was able to see it rise in you, through you, before the clouds obscured the sun.

You smiled as you turned away, heading to bed to await your kids. Joy surrounded you this morning. It radiated from you. Thank you for sharing that with me.

I'm quickly writing this to slip under your door for you to discover later. I want you to smile at the image I saw today of the dawn. It's sprinkling now, I'll have to hurry before it gets any harder and I get soaked. Please ignore any smudges!

I'll call you later.


Oh, so in between. Too early to get dressed, too late to go to sleep. I could lie down, but I would feel worse when the kids run in to wake me, and it wouldn't really help much later. I will just nap in my car at lunch and hope that April will come and yank me out when it is time.

Such a sky, such a morning. Purplegrey clouds pulling away from the black night. Street lights refusing to knuckle under. And you. Oh, my. Yes, you are still here. Waiting. A Labrador by my hearth. Sweet man. His voice:

you are music, do you know that? You always put me in such a mood.

How can I not adore that?

What am I to do with you? Attentive soul, piercing eyes, what AM I to do with you? Here, then is a small thing, I'll disrobe for you, briefly. A furtive movement, but I know you are watching. Some day soon this dance will be with you, instead of for you. My hair on your shoulder instead of my comb's teeth.

I need to go now, please know that I have angels to care for and that our time together will only grow. Don't let those clouds ruin your morning. Don't allow lack of sleep to harm your memory. There are so many sleepless nights for us to come. The best kind.

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