In Neurolinguistic Programming
(NLP), pacing refers to the act of gaining rapport
with somebody by pacing their ongoing experience
. This is often achieved by matching nonverbal
behavior such as voice tone, volume and tempo, posture, breathing rate and depth, eye movements
, gestures and so forth. Salesman often use this technique to gain rapport with their customers. Lovers often experience increased feelings of closeness when they breath in unison.
Pacing can also be done by verbally describing things in the external environment or things that a person must be feeling. "Notice the green color of the trees" "The weather is horrible today" "That must be hard for you"
Questions are a great way to get somebody to do the pacing for you. "What was that like for you?" "What did you like best about the movie?"
If describing an experience, pick out things that are common to all human experience. "You're driving down the road and suddenly you realize you don't remember the last five minutes."
Pacing is an integral part of the NLP persuasion processes. You pace somebody's reality, then throw in something that leads into the direction you want to go. Repeat as necessary according to the TOTE model using your calibration skills to see when you're done.