I have had three lovers now who were sincerely offended at my involuntary pat on the back hugs. I know, I know... pat-on-the-back-hugs feel patronizing. They feel like I'm protecting you. They feel like you think I think you're my only child.

Excuse me, but... no. I don't think you're my child. It's just the way I hug.

Our television has taught us that the Pat On The Back is a gesture of consolation and condescension:

The pat-on-the-back hug makes you feel small.

I'm really trying not to do it anymore.

I'm trying hard to make my hugs conform to How to give a hug.

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