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Lust into Dust, Or, a Dialectic of Disillusionment: The Disappointment Inherent in Faux Internet Crushes, written by Amy Geneva for Prof. Wainwright's Crit. Theory Seminar, May 200-
(Ellipses indicate where the paper has been abbreviated from its original 76 pages.)

ABSTRACT: This paper investigates developments in the treatment of the related concepts of erotic fantasy and disgruntlement in hipster rhetorical theory from the twenty-first century AD onwards. It argues that anomalies and resulting disappointments in theoretical discussion of erotic activities can be explained as a pragmatic adaptation to contemporary courtship practice. Examination of the relevant texts throws light on the argument that....


This paper takes as its point of departure a series of electronic fantasy-courtship exchanges transmitted between strangers A and C using various transparent guises to promote an illusion of multiplicity, presumably as a means of enhancing the erotic and narcissistic qualities of the fantasy. Though the version of crush-theory developed by hipster rhetorical theorists in the early twenty-first century AD has no bearing on the body of courtship texts being discussed here, we will allow it to inform our discourse anyway, since it is convenient and coherent to do so; nevertheless....

A’s praxis of crush-discourse has always-already been driven out by assumptions that chemistry is as much a cerebral construct as a physical and that notions of love are necessarily predicated upon a solid body of fantasy. Empirical research has proven to A that faux internet crushes are just as likely or more likely to result in good lovin’ as crushes of the “real life” variety. Though her discourse with C was initiated purely for its idle entertainment value, A soon found in it a source of erotic imagery and dream-content fueled by C’s initial responses....

It cannot be stressed enough that in his responses to the attempted invagination of A’s myriad identities, C has been slacking off. The auteur C of the terse, two-word (“sloppy?/YES!!”) Message of 4/19/200- is likely to be an attested hipsterian sophist and should not be identified as the same auteur C of the lovelorn, fantasy-infused Message of 2/14/200-; although he patently adapted his themes from A’s Message (sent earlier the same day)....

The essential components of the disillusionment suffered by A run as follows: C never calls her. C posts public phallocentric complaints citing an overall decrease in flirtatious messages, yet responds to her erotic overtures with businesslike brevity. C has abandoned, or never initiated, efforts to locate her real friendster profile. Unlike her other faux internet crushes, C has never visited A in person to see if she is really all that. C has never sent A a mix tape or CD in efforts to woo her. C never tells A how cute she is. Girls in C’s city are currently enjoying C’s voice, muscles, charming mannerisms, laugh, way of telling jokes, body language, and pheromones while A is making do with 5 photos and some witty self-description.

Metalepsis and misprision are two of thirteen issues evidenced by the version of the crush-theory that prevailed from the second Message onwards. Since crush-theory seeks to identify different kinds of disillusionment…this problem is compounded by the fact that both parties exhibit tendencies toward megalomania, paranoia and ego-fragmentation.... It is recommended by this writer that C shrug off the hegemonic restrictions of distance and start acknowledging the suzerainty of A’s sweet messages with messages of equivalent love-energy....

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