Back when Anna was, oh I dunno, somewhere between the age of three and five and was staying with me over a typical weekend I had one duty and one duty only. She was getting ready to go to “something” (I forget if it was a party or a school event but it really doesn’t matter) and I was supposed to get her a haircut. Nothing drastic mind you, just a trim of her bangs which were getting pretty long and hanging down over her eyes.
Me, being the dutiful and ever loving father decided against taking her to a professional and would handle the job myself. After all, how hard could it be to lope off a quarter or half an inch in a straight line? Besides my feeling of accomplishment and self satisfaction at a job well done, I figured I’d also save a few bucks in the process.
So I hunted down a pair of scissors, sat her down in a chair and then a revelation came to me. It would be much easier to cut the bangs if they were wet. That’s how I’d seen it done before. So, with the dexterity of a surgeon I took on the task at hand.
Snip, snip, snip… snip, snip, snip.
There, all done…
”Hmmm , wait a minute, they still look pretty long… Sit down honey.”
Snip, snip, snip…. snip, snip, snip.
”That’s better, ok honey off you go. Have fun!”
Fast forward to an hour or two later.
”Hey honey, come on down, it’s time for lunch.”
She came bounding down the stairs and I couldn’t believe my eyes. Her bangs, which I thought ended somewhere in the middle of her forehead when I finished, had completely vanished. I mean, they were at the top of her forehead and still shrinking. It looked like they were receding back into their roots. She looked ridiculous and not in any kind of cute way either. At first I thought “Did her head somehow grow bigger in those couple of hours?” but then I realized my mistake. It seems that when your hair is wet it looks a lot longer than it does when it’s dry. I couldn’t have done a worse job if I used an axe.
It’s been years but I think I remember her mom taking her to a barbershop to try and fix the damage I managed to inflict with a few quick snips of a scissor.
What’s that they say about the best laid plans…?
So here’s my advice to all you budding fathers out there who, through no fault of your own, want to do something special for your younger siblings.
Sometimes it’s better to leave it to the pro’s.
She’s eighteen now and even though we still laugh about this little incident, she still looks at me in disbelief when it comes up.
Thank God there aren’t any pictures.