An important
addition which needs to be made to this list of lawn-bound
nightmare fuel is the
Yard Butt. They're not extremely common, so I will describe to you the
horror that is the
Yard Butt. Yard Butts are large pieces of
cardboard which are shaped and painted to resemble the
legs and
posterior of an ordinary
human being. Assuming, that is, you
categorize people who wear
overalls or pink dresses with white
polka-dots under "
ordinary." People place
Yard Butts in front ot
flower beds,
hedgerows, or
vegetable gardens, facing traffic, so that it appears that there is a large
ass on legs standing in their
yard. These
lawn creatures are perhaps not as piercingly
horrifying as
lawn gnomes, but the general
malaise of
deep-seated insanity that they emit is arguably just as
effective.
If you own a Yard Butt, I pity you and hope that you die quickly. However, before that happens, play a fun prank by putting your Yard Butt in the way of oncoming traffic. Now, sit back and watch the fun!