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It is 2006, and I am spinning in circles in the center of my Uptown apartment in the dead of winter, singing wordless songs to myself and to the Goddess. It is 2006, and I am working a dead end job, from which I think, I am planning myself into the world of data centers. A one way ticket waits for me at year's end. My notice is given to the CLEC.

By February, I tell myself, I will sit in the dark, and the Internet will spin through my fingers. My life will mean something.


The dying days of summer, 2007. At the end of a long span of unemployment, I am taking a train to Baltimore for lunch with an ex-boyfriend, and in my inbox is the offer letter for more money than I've ever seen in my life.

With this I can do anything, I tell myself.


It is 2009 - 2010, and I stand in a semi-circle of uncles. "You will not kill yourself. I didn't destroy my childhood for you to do this." I tell my father. For the first time in years, the burden lifts from my shoulders.

I have saved my father, I tell myself.


It is 2010, and I point the nose of my truck west, and I drive, and I drive, and I drive. I have escaped Virginia, I am going to California. I am going to Oregon. I am going to Washington. I am going to my new home.

I will be free forever, I tell myself.