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It is 2006, and I am spinning in circles in the center of my Uptown apartment in the dead of winter, singing wordless songs to myself and to the Goddess. It is 2006, and I am working a dead end job, from which I think, I am planning myself into the world of data centers. A one way ticket waits for me at year's end. My notice is given to the CLEC.

By February, I tell myself, I will sit in the dark, and the Internet will spin through my fingers. My life will mean something.


The dying days of summer, 2007. At the end of a long span of unemployment, I am taking a train to Baltimore for lunch with an ex-boyfriend, and in my inbox is the offer letter for more money than I've ever seen in my life.

With this I can do anything, I tell myself.


It is 2009 - 2010, and I stand in a semi-circle of uncles. "You will not kill yourself. I didn't destroy my childhood for you to do this." I tell my father. For the first time in years, the burden lifts from my shoulders.

I have saved my father, I tell myself.


It is 2010, and I point the nose of my truck west, and I drive, and I drive, and I drive. I have escaped Virginia, I am going to California. I am going to Oregon. I am going to Washington. I am going to my new home.

I will be free forever, I tell myself.

I had a half-circle of uncles once but they were English. I don't know if any of you know any English people but they all look like they sleep in tubs of yogurt. Disgusting race of lower humans.

Hi, my name is Itzak Berky. Friends call me Behr. You are friend. Hello, friend. Mating begins.

I was double-crossed by the railway company, which I will not name because this is NOT an organization I endorse in any way. What happened was we got in to the station at Kehlsteinhaus and the railroad train conductor jumped on my back and tried to take me to the platform (what train people call the floor). I fought him off and cut his throat in three places, requiring 12 minutes of aggressive neck sawing (something I recommend trying on a family member of low overall value such as yourself). Then I saw two noders, including Nemo Fingers and Gene. They were coming towards me and had a net. They will not soon be eating another supper. The rotary drill attachment for my X-Man type hand is still plenty sharp thank you very much (you're welcome).

That was taxing, and I wasn't sure if the deal I had made with crooked railroad people still held, but the hairless ass weasel knew a way through a passage in the mountains that would get us to the top. They said it was safe, but I had a weird feeling Hillary Clinton was hiding in there, possibly with her intern lover Ben Gazi (FBI still refuses to investigate and bothers Mr. Trump instead). We pushed onwards.

Dark in here and losing WiFi access. This is a wireless system to use computers. To learn more about computers go to AOL website and look up "information about computers." You'll find all the information there you need all in one place.

My friends.

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