Was: guys who know a girl is dating someone else and kiss her anyway
I'm one of these. But wait, please don't judge me yet. The
situation was not
typical. It isn't
what you're thinking.
She felt that her mother loved this guy more than she loved her own daughter. He has everything going for him. He's in vet school. And he's intelligent. And I guess he's good looking, although I would be a bad judge of this, seeing as how I feel the urge to rip his fucking lungs out whenever I see him. Anyway, her mother wants her to marry him, even though he cheats on her. Even though he thinks of her as more of an object, his girlfriend, future wife, more than anything else. He does not respect what she values.
At first I had a huge crush on her, and she seemed to respond as if she was interested. She was. I found out about him. I told her how I felt about her anyway. She was flattered.
Months go by. One night she calls. We talk. And talk. We get along very well, we always have. She begins to confide things in me as the days go by. I listen. I try to understand. But I keep my distance.
She tells me about him. She tells me she doesn't get along with him very well.
She says she tried to break up with him last year, when she did her mother would not speak to her at all. He would call up her mother on the phone and sob to her about how much he was in love. Her mother forced her back into a relationship with him that she did not want. I listen to all this. It hurts me. I feel sorry for her and for myself. If only I had been there for her a year ago... but the pain is not great, it is bearable.
We become very close. She says she feels like she can talk to me about anything. I feel the same way.
Then one day she tells me she is in love with me.
We see each other often. We sneak off together. But I never kiss her. I begin to feel bad about this. I wish she would leave him. She doesn't.
I see a therapist. He advises me that I'm not watching out for myself enough. He asks me if I want to kiss her at one point. I say, 'Yeah, of course.' He tells me I should.
I kiss her, even though I know she is dating someone else.
We sneak off together. Other people don't know. We're both moving out of town after the summer is over, then we'll be together without him. We'll be together. It hurts, but it is bearable.
I'm playing a local coffee house a few weeks later. She's probably off with him - I try not to think about it. I take a break, lay down the bass in the corner. She comes down the stairs. I blink, didn't know she was here. I smile. She doesn't. He follows her down.
I almost lose it. There's a knife in my pocket. My hand searches for it. She brushes into me as she walks by. She starts talking to me, small talk. He's right behind her, his arm goes around her waist. Fucker smiles his little smile as he fingers his property. I don't hear her now, I can't. I find the knife, struggle to get the blade open with one hand.
The piano player is next to me. He knows who she is, he knows who he is. He's foggy on the exact details of the situation that I've mumbled to him between tunes on past occasions. But he knows some shit is about to go down. His hand grips my arm. He prevents me from spending the rest of my life in prison.
With his arm still around her, he says, 'Would you like a mint?' I take it. I eat it. They leave.
A few weeks pass. We're talking about college next year. Her friend mentions in passing that she's attending a local community college. That's not right. She's going off with...
I grab her arm and walk with her until we're alone. She says she wanted to tell me herself. She said she can't afford to go. I got a scholarship. She didn't. She had known for weeks. All this time. She hadn't told me.
It hurts. I can't take it anymore. I get out. But I still love her.