MARCH OF THE MONSTERS: REACTIONS TO THE DEATH OF SLEELAK

I'm not really sure what I think. It's hard to say. I know he did a lot for this city, but he also trashed the financial district, didn't he? Before we worked out how to keep him away from the city. And what about him peeing in the river all the time? That's pretty disgusting. I guess I'll miss him in a way, but I'm kind of happy he's dead.

That's so typical of the patriarchy. “We're glad you're dead, Sleelak. Thanks for saving us from Raptharn and Meckagecko, but you crushed a bank. We can't have that in our modern world.” So fucking typical of a man. A living, sentient being is dead today, do you even understand that? A creature that was alive in the time of the druids has died. You make me sick, all of you.

I can understand her sorrow, and I was a big fan of the green guy, but it wasn't one bank he crushed, it was a block-wide trail of destruction stretching from the South Street Seaport to Locke Park. There were hundreds of people killed. Also, the damage to the water and electric lines cost seventeen million dollars to repair. In all fairness, we must allow that Raptharn and Meckagecko each might have cost the city more money if Sleelak had not been here to fight them off.

But why'd they come here in the first place, man? Who brought them here? You want to know why they were here, do ya? It was him. He called them. He called all the damn monsters to come out and play. And who called him? Come here, I ain't gonna shout it. You listening? Koreans. Koreans brought him to the USA. How the hell should I know why? Why do they do any of the things they do? Why do they eat dogs, huh? Don't tell me they don't eat dogs, I seen them on TV. In Shanghai they got a whole market full of cats and dogs. Do I look like I care where Shanghai is? Listen, those goddamn Koreans brought him here to bring us down, just like they tried to poison our pets with that rat poison in the food last year. Do I look like I care if it was China or Korea? God damn, kid. Your country is under attack and you want to argue with me about what language they speak?

Mmm-hmm. His problem is, he's worried about losing the last good job in this country. Thinks he might be forced down to the level the rest of us are living at. He's mad cause that old lizard flattened some white people's houses, made them look just like the Hill. You ever been to the Hill? No, I didn't think so. Nobody there making enough money for you to point a camera at them. Just a bunch of old black folks dying from drugs, from violence, from the cold. But an animal that isn't even warm-blooded dies in the white part of town, that's news, right?

I think he died for our sins.

I don't have time, I gotta get this Twitter out and get these pics on Flickr. I'm gonna get like fifty million friend requests after this!

Who's going to clean this up, that's what I want to know. I think it's disgraceful, leaving that corpse on the street like that. What do we pay our taxes for, if they don't even clean up the streets?

Sir, you and your crew are going to have to move to the other side of the street. CDC will be setting up a mobile lab here. No, I'm not authorized to respond to that. All I know is, off the record, the lizard is a possible vector. There's nothing to be worried about. Gas masks will be handed out at the FEMA relief station in the middle of the park. Hey, you! You can't park that piece of crap there! You're blocking the hydrant! Excuse me, sir. We're extremely busy.

Mommy said Sleelak was a monster, but I know he was a good guy. I have all of him, even the Aqua Escape Sleelak with Vortex Breath. I only don't have Radioactive Meckagecko. He's really hard to find. My friend Josh has him. He's awesome. Except he always loses, because Sleelak wins because he's the good guy. Have you seen my Mo​mmy? She was here a few minutes ago.

Sir, I already told you, you need to move your crew to the other side of the street. This area is now a CDC control zone under military jurisdiction. No, there's nothing to worry about. Just move your guys out of here.

What's that noise?

Is it an earthquake?

Sir, you need to move out of here NOW!

Oh, for shit's sake. It's another one.