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Ok, so you have your jar of Icy Hot, and you think....damn this stuff is soothing. You also have your penis, to which you also think...damn this stuff is soothing. Being the genius mathematician that you are, you put 1 and 1 together and hatch this great idea.

So you slather it on and begin your wrist exercises. It tingles. Its cool. It burns like all hell.

After finishing the dirty work, your penis feels supersensitive to the point of pain. The active ingredients in Icy Hot is Methyl Salicylate and Menthol, which causes an inability to lose your erection. So now you have a rock hard painful erection, which is now turning blue and purple because of the chemicals that you decided to play with.

Once again, being one who thinks with their brain, you decide to wash it off with a nice hot shower. Jumping into the steam, you now have a new understanding of pleasure vs. pain. Although you eventually washed it off, it was not without periods of jumping out of the tub for fear that your penis was on fire.

For the rest of the day you are condemned to walk around with a bright, glowing red, and semi-erect penis. Maybe next time you'll remember that masturbating with Icy Hot is a bad idea.