The highlight of the University of Chicago year. Every spring quarter. the scavenger hunt society publishes a list of some 400 items, made public on a Wednesday and to be collected and judged by Sunday morning, during which time caffeine consumption increases exponentially, and nobody who is anybody sleeps.

For three years now I have participated, and for three years I have been arrested for acts of theft and vandalism around the greater Chicago area. Past items of note have included a flamethrower, a breeder reactor, and airstrike conducted on the head of Slobodan Milosevic, a 30-foot tall classic monster of the Midway (during the construction of which I learned how to weld; yay me), and full tactical control of Madeleine Albright.

Topping it all off is the Sunday morning Scavolympics, with events like the Havanagila Have-a-tequila, mattress racing, battling siege towers, and drag racing (3" heels minimum).

Thank God for alcohol and 24-hour hardware stores. For this alone I would have gone to this school. The University of Chicago scavenger hunt - come for the day, stay for the nudity.