Ten Point Plan to Save America (idea)

1. Operation Infinite Airplanes

One hundred thousand remote control airplanes are sent into flight over "rogue nations" around the globe. They are controlled from Internet cafes across the United States and the EU, or by subscription service from your home. The airplanes are solar powered and can remain airborne indefinitely, with most of the airframes consisting of converted commercial aircraft. If they are intercepted, some explode. Others contain dessert items, consumer electronics, or an INS "green card" - essentially forming an armada of airborne piñatas. What this actually accomplished is the subject debate among experts. "It's confusing as hell," says one analyst.

These $1000000 ($US) grants are available to disaffected youth such as "The Trenchcoat Mafia", intercity street gangs, and suburban athletic associations. The program is wholly voluntary, and similar to the French Foreign Legion (la Legion Etrangère) in its conception - these monetary grants include a forged passport and credit cards from the nation of the applicants choice. Careful psychological screening ensures the selection of only the suicidal or sociopathic, with IQ's of at least 115. Training in the use of small arms, explosives, and useful 3rd world skills such a the digging of wells takes place from the Liberty Bell's headquarters on Santa Catalina Island off the coast of California. After purchasing equipment from a specially constructed Big 5 Sports on the island, they are released to exact untold vengeance on America's enemies. Unfortunately, they are barred from ever again returning to the continental United States (CONUS).

Built by a subsidiary of the Studebaker Grumman Airship Corporation at their manufacturing complex in Wichita, Kansas, these lighter than air structures are 1 to 1 scale replicas of the now destroyed "Twin Towers" of the World Trade Center. A total six thousand will eventually be built and released. Regulated by a suite of microprocessors and powered by the sun, they will endlessly circle the globe as part of a new foreign policy of "guilt projection." Fabricated from an advanced "foamed metal," the aerosculptures maintain a steady altitude of 100 meters above ground level and are nearly indestructible. Tests conducted at Studebaker Grumman suggest that only nuclear weapons would be capable of shooting down the floating towers. Each tower is assigned an email address and powerful public address system. Messages sent to a particular tower will be played from the sound system for reception by the people below. Additionally, each tower features a penthouse apartment, internet cafe, and roof garden accessible by helicopter

Part of an overall broad-based initiative to deurbanize the United States and bring economic development to the Great Plains, the Volunteer Plains Indian Initiative (VPII, pronounced vee pie) is specifically designed to address the needs of Americans that may be unemployable as part of the information economy in the post "dot com" era, due to their educations in the liberal arts and politically "left" positioning. The initiative allows for the creation of synthetic, voluntary "Native American" tribes that will lead a semi nomadic, equestrian lifestyle on reclaimed land in the Great Plains. After an orientation period that teaches basic horsemanship, hunting, and the fabrication of clothing from naturally available materials, these "New Indians" are issued a climate-controlled teepee, traditional-style clothing made from modern performance fabrics, and a cellular phone. Healthcare is available from mobile hospitals utilizing "low impact" balloon tires. Careful regulation of massive populations of American bison, along with organic food depots, eliminate some of the more pernicious aspects of life as a hunter gatherer. Information technology, vaccinations, enforcement of civil liberties and human rights, ties to the "white world", modern assault rifles, and tribal lawyers preclude a repeat of past issues with the industrial "settled" world.

Similar to the VPII, the Volunteer Post-Apocalyptic Wasteland Program (VPAWP, pronounced vee-pawup) creates new employment and settlement opportunities for Americans politically aligned along the anti-governmental/survivalist axis. Making use of undeveloped areas administrated by the Bureau of Land Management in the American Southwest, settlers can choose between dwelling in bunkers of their own construction, occupying abandoned air bases and industrial complexes, or engaging in mechanized nomadic banditry as part of a motorcycle or dune buggy gang. Survivalists from other parts of the US are eligible for land grants and funding to relocate their caches of food, medicine, and weapons. Participants are exempted from paying federal income tax, with the lost revenue being recouped in the regulated sale of firearms, off-road supplies, fuel, and leather goods from depots along the border areas of the wasteland. The "Wasteland" area is bordered by a cordon sanitare enforced by motion sensors, land mines, and a self-maintaining electrified fence. Tours of the wasteland are available by armored bus caravan for non-participants with a notarized waiver. An offshore version of the program includes the use of offshore oil rigs, piracy of container ships, and sodomy.

Enrollment in this service corps is available for all Americans between 18 and 25 years of age. Riding modern mountain and road bikes equipped with compact manual typewriters, this brigade of energetic, enthusiastic youth form an exciting new addendum to the moribund US Postal Service. Excellent typists, the riders of the USTBC are able to take dictation from any citizen, and see to the forwarding for the message. Each day's messages are stored in a micromechanical array inside the rider's typewriter and printed to a log at day's end. These logs are then stored in subterranean saltmines beneath Nebraska, with the entire system forming an analog/mechanical alternative to the Internet. While its utility and efficiency are the subject of constant ridicule, the riders are selected for their physical fitness and incomparable good looks, leaving few complaints for the lucky recipient of a "veloc-i-gram." They are the only messenger organization available with service to the American Wasteland, this hazardous duty being carried out by the "Skull Riders."

Blasting beneath the continent in robotically-dug tunnels, these nuclear powered locomotives can go coast-to-coast in under two hours. While they make other exotic transportation systems such as the Concorde or the US Interstate Highway system look inexpensive by comparison, Nuketrak effectively eliminates the need for air travel inside the United States, freeing up the aircraft needed for point 1. Operation Infinite Airplanes.

By placing the city of Detroit under an opaque geodesic dome, urban planners were able to create America's first "Night City," where the sun never shines. The sole industries under the dome are gambling, prostitution, bootlegging, night clubs, and drug use. The city itself is a design tour de force, an unprecedented melding of 1930's urban noir and the "goth" aesthetic of the late 20th century. Renamed "Gotham City," the former city of Detroit fills a much needed niche vacated by Las Vegas's move to be a family entertainment destination. With the violence, horrific pollution, intractable social problems, and crumbling infrastructure expected of a traditional American urban "Hell Town," Gotham is the world's preeminent "Sin City." Its near-total lack of any regulatory enforcement also makes it a popular resettlement choice for free market capitalists and libertarians.

The ultimate in restrictive home-ownership associations, this voluntary authoritarian government offers "Totalitarianism with a smiling face!" These closed societies offer 1950's style suburban living and superconformism. For those who long for "the good old days," the ASA creates an enclave of retrograde social sensibility - complete with enforced housework for housewives and women, and the reintroduction of racial segregation. Participation by African-Americans is wholly voluntary and understandably limited.

A glittering silver sphere, adorned only with lasers, telescopes, and an enormous American flag, the US Orbital Space Command Center is an artificial moon, the American people's gift to the night sky. The USOSCC and its subsidiaries are able to surveil the entire surface of the globe 100% of the time, across most of the electromagnetic spectrum. Manned by its eager, well-intentioned crew of acrobatic, short-haired astronauts, the Space Center is not only able to read license plates from orbit, but also read the newspapers of park goers. Its prodigious electronic intelligence gathering capabilities enable the Center to listen in on every telephone conversation on earth, simultaneously - including those which have occurred in the past, up 50 years ago. Its use of retroactive optics and high-gain antennae allow the intelligence analysts of the Center to see every image on every television, monitor, CRT, multifunction display, and digital watch on earth. With this unprecedented fund of data at their disposal, offensive systems operators are able to direct the irradiative and kinetic energy weapons of the USOSCC against any a target anywhere on the planet at any time, from 100m below the surface into high earth orbit. Set against the backdrop of the Milky Way, this omniscient omnipotent silver pearl, glowing from the blackness of space is an enduring symbol of hope and freedom for the oppressed and downtrodden peoples of the Earth.