(idea) by JayBees Sun Dec 31 2000 at 8:36:56
Comedian David Cross on High Times:

"I like pot, I enjoy pot, uh, I like to smoke it. (crowd cheers) Alright! But uh, the one thing I don't like about pot is the subculture it's spawned. I think it's embarrassing and really juvenile and uncreative, and I think the epitome of it is High Times magazine. That is the most juvenile, immature publication, it's incredible, I mean it's like a notch intellectually below Highlights for Children. I mean, they're both great to read when you're baked, but come on!

High Times has centerfolds of buds! I know people who take these centerfolds out and stick them up on their wall! I know these guys I grew up with them! These people are sitting there going 'Aww, man, shit! Did you, uh...check out April's Bud of the Month, man! That shit is awesome, man! That shit is so sexy and... (starts making orgasmic sounds) sweet, and fuck look at the fucking red hairs on that, man, I mean it's awesome man!!' Ugh, guys jerking off to pictures of weeds.

And, the best thing I saw in High Times, was a couple of months ago, the one with Ozzy Osbourne on the cover holding a big bowl of weed up to the camera. And on that one, in the lower right hand corner, it says, 'Who really killed MLK?' Yeah! High Times cracked the conspiracy. They did it, they did it man! New York Times ain't got shit on High Times. Yeah, those great journalists sitting there, I would've loved to have been at that editorial meeting. Just a bunch of baked guys, sitting in a room silently, waiting for the clock to turn 4:20 going, 'This is the best time to get high!' Then they start talking, (in stoned voice) 'Okay, get ready, man, cause I got the story about who really killed MLK, stands for Martin Luther King if you didn't know.

Seriously man, cause the shit I know is...fucking intense, man! It is gonna knock the shit out of your ass, into the toilet, and it's gonna flush itself. That's how powerful, cause--uh, I was home, I was on the internet man, fucking getting in there, getting that shit in, taking it, getting it out. Goin' here, out, in, there. Don't call me paranoid, man! Billy, I know you're about to call me paranoid, but I gotta say it, brother. How can I be paranoid if the paranoid motherfuckers that make me paranoid are really out there? I saw that, man, on one of those sticker things you, uh, put on the back of a car, on the bumper, I forget what they're called, but they're like stickers you put on a bumper. And, the best one I ever saw, man, seriously! Dude, I've seen this a couple times, it's my favorite, man. It just says, 'Who Farted?' That's awesome, man! If I saw that I would ride up and roll down the window, hit the horn, and go, "Hey, man, me! I farted!" and it brings people together, it's cool. So basically that's my story, my theory, and uh, print it up! Fucking don't keep that shit to yourself!'"

I like it! 2 C!s