Dabbled sun along the black stretches of
highway.
Night begins the long and involved
siege of day's homeland,
Wearing a
guise of stars and the face of
our mother.
Many thoughts of the past days linger behind my
eyelids,
A
drive-in movie of
hostile environments of my
childhood
And I decide that my
future child needs better than my past gave me.
I love her.
I remember Shades of Death and the legends she whispered to us all,
Of the way the mists of the lake danced like a bride over the waters
And I remember how it felt to be with him, then, and how it felt
The day he left me, like he left his past behind, he closed me soundly,
Like some book he'd read far too many times.
I have not.
I remember the way it was to wait for him to come back,
Sitting in my room whose windows faced the highway
With the lights zipping over the wooden paneled walls
From cars with places to go, people to see…
Come see me.
Then, one day, I picked myself up and shook my head so hard
My hair flailed out, dark and short, and curled.
I opened my eyes, tired of the re-runs behind my eyelids,
And I went out into the world, looking for something better than he.
You are better.
I can express, I can impose, I can understand.
You, you came back again a dozen months later and I said no,
Hoping you'd understand. Love is grand, I've found out,
And I can forget my mother, who should never have been,
But, only because I chose it. Only because I wished it,
I wished your name.
Watching the two robots, white as unreal-innocence, I decide
That love is all that matters. It does not matter who takes their children to
Go see the parade…"We are equal," they say, but they do not
feel.
I long to be one of the robots, simple but pretty music to dance to,
And love, privacy, and no false conscious to make me feel as though I am wrong…
I am not wrong. I will not be mended.