Well, I'm off to Bonn. This is going to be one of the most emotionaly difficult days of my life. I am up to the challenge, or am I?

Have I lost my perspective? Have I lost my mind? Can I actually succeede and make peace with this, make amends, improve the situation somehow? Or am I just fooling myself and tilting at windmills?

I don't know. My heart and stomach are tied in knots. I don't know, but I know that there's no turning back. I have a flight a 5pm to catch and a destiny to meet.

Most likely this is simple going to cause more pain and suffering, most likely this is not going to go well. Most likely you will never speak to me again.

The email crushed me. Talking to you gave me hope that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

But that light is just the lack of the dark.

"won't you try just a little bit harder, wouldn't you try just a little bit more
the wheel is spinning and you can't slow it down, can't let go and you can't hold on, can't go back and you can't stand still...
if the THUNDER don't get you the LIGHTNING will