An anteater is, naturally, an
animal which eats
ants. It is not to be confused with the much more dangerous
aunteater, though the latter large and scaly creature is only a danger to certain women -- those who have a sibling with at least one child, or are married to somebody situated with a similar relation. The anteater, by contrast, is a mammal best known by its lengthy
proboscis and its all-
insect diet. Some of those insects may be aunts as well -- ant society after all typically revolves around a single egg-laying
queen, who may have sisters who were sent off to form their own colonies -- but since only one in ten-thousand ants is likely to be a female, the anteater could not possibly survive on aunt ants alone.
You might think that the most famous ever anteater was the blue fellow featured in certain
Pink Panther cartoons; but in fact that fellow was an
aardvark. Completely unrelated. This is a prime example of
convergent evolution. The aardvark, it might be noted, is so named because in Dutch-descended
Afrikaans, 'aard' means
Earth and 'vark' means
pig; the anteater is much more sensibly named using plain English words. Other insectivores such as the
pangolin and
echidna seem to be named by pulling
syllables out of a hat. But the anteater is more closely related to the equally-Englishly named
sloth -- and probably wonders why this cousin is so listless and unmotivated, what with all those tasty anthills abounding.
While some eaters of ants who are not anteaters are indeed scaly, the true anteater is not so, for it is furry. It wears a thick
fur coat even in the hottest summers. One especially
fashionable species is even called the
silky anteater. Another species, the
giant anteater, is disappointingly only about six feet long; although this is about twice as long as average anteaters of other species, sadly it does not tower over the trees, nor does it devour giant ants.
Some people keep anteaters as
pets, which is a wonderful idea if you have an ant
infestation and don't mind the fact that they can't really be house trained and make the most potent smelling
pee ever. But if you do have an anteater as a pet, you can
dress it in a shirt or
in a jacket,
take it for a lovely walk, and later
relax with a nice glass of wine.