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Ok, although I am not Mormon I do live in Utah so I live in an LDS-dominated culture. I don't feel bad about noding these because they were sent to me by a mormon freind of mine. Not everyone will get these because you have to have some basic understanding of mormon culture, and Utah mormons in particular. Well, here they are

You might be a Mormon if..

  • If you've ever used the phrase "Bless those who aren't here this time that they might be here next time."
  • If you've ever used the above phrase while offering a prayer at a state prison, youth detention facility or other place of confinement.
  • If you have a favorite Osmond.
  • If that Osmond is Jimmy.
  • If you think the word "ignorant" means rude.
  • If you think the word "ignorant" is pronounced "ig-nernt"
  • If you think BYU's Holiday Bowl victory over SMU in 1980 is proof of the true church.
  • If you still talk about the Holiday Bowl victory of 1980.
  • If you refuse to accept the fact that the two BYU players on either end of that "miracle pass" were Catholic.
  • Even though he was born and raised in Connecticut, you consider Steve Young a Utah native.
  • If you couldn't raise your children in Utah, Connecticut would be your second choice.
  • If you've ever used the words: fetch, flip, scrud, or oh-my-heck.
  • If you ever apologized for using such language.
  • If you've ever used your temple recommend as a check protection card.
  • If you hide your recommend in the back of your wallet when you shop on Sunday.
  • If you believe Jell-O is one the basic food groups.
  • If you've ever mixed Jell-O with any kind of meat.
  • If you like Jell-O mixed with any kind of meat.
  • If you have your order in for volume 25 of The Work and The Glory
  • If you use the dust jacket from The Work and The Glory to read romance novels in public.
  • If you've ever quoted The Work and The Glory in a talk or a lesson.
  • If you feel that The Work and The Glory would be better if it took place in Connecticut and the hero's name was Steve.
  • If you were shocked to find out that the cast and crew of "Touched By An Angel" were not Mormon.
  • If you feel that "Touched By An Angel" would be better if it took place in Connecticut and the hero's name was Steve.
  • If you can come up with at least 10 good excuses as to why Steve Young isn't married.
  • If you believe any of those excuses.
  • If you've ever passed a rumor about a major celebrity appearing on a talk show wearing a CTR ring and announcing that he has joined the Mormon church. (Steve Martin in 1996, Harrison Ford in 1993, Jack Klugman in 1988, Woody Allen in 1982.)
  • If you've ever believed that rumor.
  • If you still believe that rumor.
  • If you're planning to read this list during Family Home Evening.
  • If, while giving a presentation in a public place such as a board meeting, you have ever inadvertently ended with, "in the name of..."
  • If you've ever ended your presentation with those words deliberately.
  • If, during the NBA finals in 1997, you felt guilty when the TV announcer said that Larry Miller was not watching the game because of religious beliefs.
  • If you shut the TV off.
  • If you felt better when Larry Miller showed up after all.
  • If all your children are named after Old Testament Prophets.
  • Even your daughter Zerubbabel.
  • If you ran out of Old Testament names before you ran out of children.
  • If you were shocked to find out that the 24th of July was not a national holiday.
  • If you refer to the Days of '47 royalty as "The queen and her two councilors."
  • If you have a testimony of the truthfulness of Amway, A.L. Williams or NuSkin.
  • If at least one member of your family has a pseudo-French name such as LaVell, LaDell, or Bidet.
  • If your mother-in-law was pregnant at your wedding.
  • If at least one of your salad bowls is at your neighbor's house.
  • If you're father-in-law thinks Ronald Reagan was a liberal.
  • If, while teaching a lesson in Relief Society meeting, you've ever apologized for not preparing a center piece.
  • If, while teaching a lesson in Priesthood meeting, you've ever apologized for not preparing a lesson.