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The Beer Scooter is a nifty, free device that gets you home after you've had a few too many. Ever noticed that when walking home from the pub at closing time, you will (depending on how pissed you are) appear to cover a large distance in a seemingly disproportionate time. This is even more amazing when you take in to consideration the amount of lateral movement (ie: staggering and swaying from side to side) the average drunkard makes. Thusly, the only logical solution to this phenomenon is the Beer Scooter, which is handed to you when you begin your journey and taken from you by persons unknown when you arrive at your destination, although you probably won't remember it.

Be warned though, although the Beer Scooter is a quite an amazingly constructed and extraordinarily managed piece of equipment, it is not infallible. Many a time I have attempted to ride it home, only to find myself in a ditch, gutter, or face bloodied and money missing. However, the more you practise with the scooter, the better you will get at it's operation. Using the scooter with other people only seems to increase it's performance, but only if you've all been on the piss. One or more non-liquored up person can either negate the existence of the scooter, or make the trip a highly subjective affair, arguments ensuing the next day over whether the scooter was ridden at all.

Beer Scooter: The phenomenon itself
On your Beer Scooter / Beer Scootering: The act of making a journey
Beer Scootered: Having just arrived, and explaining to someone else how you got home

ponder says Interesting... In London is a "scooter man" service, where if you dial a number, a chap comes on a foldable scooter to the pub or restaurant, and drives your car home for you - fully insured.