I decided to make a writeup about my day - this was my third attempt. My backspace key is being used quite a bit. Every time I try to recant my day all that comes are tears. No, nothing bad happened - but on the same note, nothing good happened - Nothing, even when I tried to be a jackass of a catalyst. I keep experencing this too - day after day, but that fact has only really recently set in.
Too my knowledge there is no real word that can describe my feelings; "
Indifferent", "
Indecisive", "
Lossless", "
Hopeless", etc. Just dont work. Nothing dose - Theres an odd irony in that. The best way to describe it however, at least as far as I'm concerned is that feeling some have when in meditation, when you and the world seperate. But thats still not close.
Perhaps I have a death wish, but I question that. Death would not make any difference, No one would remember me - no one would care. Seucide is in a seperate plane, done by a different kind of person. I too lazy to kill myself, but if someone wants to kill me feel free.
I just would'nt care. I would'nt care - thats it.... or is it? But now I have a feeling I'm using the wrong word again, * sigh *.
Why do we communicate vocally, when vocally we cant communicate? I guess we just diddent care about making somthing
better.