Today has been busy and odd, but I am much better than
yesterday.
Yesterday was just crazy. I left work early, and drove home with my head spinning like a top. I have always been diagnosed as being depressed, but I think I may have had a manic episode yesterday. I don’t know. My thoughts were racing about a mile a minute and I just had this horrible feeling that if I didn’t get back to my apartment that everything in the world would fall completely apart.
I got back to my apartment, and rested for a little while. I was able to calm down and get back into a somewhat "normal" frame of mind. Then, I remembered why I spent 5 minutes loading laundry into my car that morning, and headed to the laundromat to get it done. I got home in time to watch Survivor, so I did that and ate some Jolly Rancher’s. Then the rest of the TV shows on sucked me in, and I didn’t move off the couch. I got tired all of a sudden about 11pm, made the bed up with clean sheets, and went to sleep.
I have no problems getting to sleep lately, but I can’t get any restful sleep. I toss and turn a lot, and keep having dreams that I wake up from but can’t remember a minute later. My alarm went off at 6:45 as usual, and I got up and went to work.
Work has been busy. Phil’s last day was yesterday, so I have to answer all the support emails myself and take phone calls. It has all settled down now, and I am pausing to think, reflect, and write some nodes since it helps with the think and reflect thing. I didn’t hear from the asshole customer who set me off yesterday, so I have to assume he took the computer to Best Buy and they fixed it for him. I probably should call him back, but I really don’t want to get yelled at for another 10 minutes like yesterday. I figure that if he had a problem, he would have called by now.
I’ve been making some observations about customers and their geographic locations recently, and I think I will have to write a node about it sometime.
One of the shrinks I tried to call yesterday called me back today, and I made an appointment to see him in a couple of weeks, as that was the only opening. I’ve decided to start taking St. John’s Wort again as a temporary measure and hope for the best. I’ll stop taking it again when it’s a few days before the appointment. I shouldn’t worry too much about getting pregnant since we use condoms too, but I do anyway. I can’t believe I just wrote that. Probably too much information. :)
Tonight I have an appointment with my trainer, which will probably put me in pain again. He really went overboard with my arm muscles last week and I can just now sit here and type comfortably again. Of course, this is just in time to get more abuse. Oh well. If it doesn’t hurt, it probably isn’t doing any good. I have to start going in there to work out more often than our appointments or else there’s no point to having a trainer.
I might go play bingo with some people from work tonight but I’m still undecided about that. I’m going to wait and see how I feel after the work out.
Nodes That I Wrote Today:
the letter on my bookshelf
CD’s I’ve Listened To Today:
Muslimgauze – United States of Islam
Alanis Morrissette – Jagged Little Pill
Dead Can Dance – Toward the Within
And all I really want, is some patience. A way to kill the angry voice.