I haven't been
interacting with
people very much. Just my CV friends: M, B, R, and Z. Well, I've realized that I got along better with my old group of friends a lot better than I thought I did. I share a common interest with M, gaming. Although, he's into stuff like
D&D and I like games like
chess. B's smart, but he's kooky and he gets on my nerves sometimes. He likes to play
devil's advocate, but when he does his arguments sound like
jokes. I guess he likes to do both.
He also doesn't treat everyone (including me) with
respect which gets on my nerves. M does this very nicely, though.
B has excellent social skills when it comes to interacting with faculty and staff of the school, much better than mine at least. This I can learn from. But he doesn't have the same level of social skills when interacting with peers. I remember him practically begging Rebea to come to the lounge after the DC trip.
R (another one) and I are incompatible, really. We think on different levels and have different world views. Luckily we don't interact directly very much because we have both realized this. Z is a funny guy. There are some parts with him that I can't relate with (he's a romantic, and a D&D player), and some that I can (he's a guitar player).
I understand that I am nowhere near perfect. I am just saying that my interactions with this bunch are not fufilling as I wish they were. I crave witty, intelligent conversation. Something that I feel that I can't partake in anymore, not at least without practice. My old group would definitely set the stage for that.
I've been interacting with myself, recently. Who needs other people when you can lie in bed and dream up your old worlds? It's fun, but it's dangerous. It's an internal feedback loop and leads to nonsensical thoughts. This week, I keep imagining a good deal of a relationship that would never even begin. (Me serenading her at b-don's BBQ
My goal is to live on campus and I'm not working toward it. Literally.. I am unemployed. My more immediate goal is to stay at home and learn how to play the guitar. It has been quite fun and rewarding for me. I enjoy this. And I need this.
Being alone might be comforting, but it's not very rewarding.