Howard Stern hosts a show on
E!, probably called
The Howard Stern Show, which appears to showcase
women who want
Howard Stern to cajole them into their
underpants and then comment on their
bodies.
The Howard Stern Women
disturb me. They are young and old, fat and thin,
famous and not so well known. There are a
plethora of strippers and
porn stars who show up there along with midwestern
housewives looking to have
Howard comment on their
breasts.
Can someone explain this to me? I am completely clueless as to why all of these women would treat this guy like the most important judge at the
Miss America pageant. You aren't going to win anything. If it's a famous woman, or a porn star, he gushes on and on about how
fabulous and beautiful the woman is, while she sits on a bench with these
massive ear muffs on, giggling to accentuate her shiny pink
lipstick and perfectly white teeth. The strippers fare worse, they invariably end up
mostly naked while they are rated for their tits and ass.
"
Those are wonderful breasts. Are those real? Get out of here!! How long have you been dancing? Yeah,
your knees are pretty banged up, maybe you should do something about that ass."
What confuses me the most are the
random women, the 19 year old girls looking for affirmation, and the
housewives. They come into this studio,
mullet-haired husband or frumpy cousin in tow, with their white shoes and floral dresses.
"Howard, we love you. Do you think I should get a
boob job?"
Who gives a care about what some talk radio host thinks about your
boobs?? What do
you think about them?? Howard says go for the silicone ones, they're firmer. While you're at it, why don't you take care of that belly, it's a little saggy. Howard also thinks that
floral print dresses are ugly, how about you quit wearing them? Howard's favorite actresses all have
auburn hair. Let's do something about that
dishwater blonde. Perhaps what these women need is a book to be published called "Howard Says." It would
contain all of the preferences of Howard Stern, so that these women wouldn't have to visit the show in
order to find out what they didn't really want to know in the first place.