You can get to my heart by making me cry (idea)

First, and always:

I am moved to tears by depression. A lack of sunlight, a need for space, a need for closeness, an internal gauge being off, and not measuring the world the way it really is. The twist of the contrast knob on the world as I see it, blending and muting the color of life. I could love that you could do this to me.

Second, and seldom:

I cannot make a contribution of worth without my eyes watering, my nose starting to run. Not dropping off clothes at the Salvation Army or giving $20 to a charitable cause, but giving of myself that something else may come of it. That others may grow, learn, achieve. I can do this for you, it might make you learn to love me.

Third, as rare as hen's teeth:

I will cry for something so big. Something so small. The magnitude of a heart wrenching song - combined with the most heartless of actions, or the most anticipated and adored return to me moment ever. A leaf. The moon. This makes you mine. I will love you forever even if I never see you again. You will never lose me and I will never let you fade.

Fourth, and most disturbing:

I cannot cry for pain. I have forgotten how. I will hate you with a fierceness beyond words to remember how the wrong way.