When I was a medic in the Army, I worked in a combat support hospital. We used to take a tent hospital out to the field, set it up and work it for a week to a month at a time. I worked in the ER, but we had wards, ICUs, radiology, lab, physical therapy etc. etc., including a chaplain.
One day we were sitting in the ER tent, just talking, when the chaplain, a Catholic priest, stopped by. Somehow the discussion had gotten onto specula (perhaps discussing the two different types of vaginal specula, Graves and Pedersen, or the sizes..). Out of nowhere, the priest said "I can tell what size of speculum a woman needs by looking at her mouth. Women with large mouths need a large speculum. For example, Private X. would take a small, Specialist Y. would take a medium and Sergeant Z. would take a medium". Our platoon sergeant, a woman with the largest mouth I had ever seen, pursed her lips and said "Uh reulluy?" (translates to Oh really?)
Needless to say, we died laughing.. but it was very disturbing and wrong on SO many levels...