Step One: Push button.

Step Two: Receive bacon.

Step Three: Enjoy!

I saw this written on a hand dryer in a public restroom. Written over the daigrams outlining the accepted procedure for drying hands at the inefficient machine, the artist commented on the bacon-like appearance of the squiggly air lines. The second illustration did look remarkably similar to a pauper graciously receiving his Communion of fried pig.

I left the restroom and got in the car. My friend dropped me off at the dorm room of another. Three of us watched hockey and drank until midnight. I began the solitary journey home through the barren campus and noticed few footprints in the snow. I glanced back twice when I was in sight of my building.