During the massage today
my poor back aches so
where my wings should be
Guilt
If the Beloved gives me wings
I should fly
but I would rather be in the water
I feel so much safer here
and then I think
maybe I should stop
jumping off of cliffs.....
I should stop jumping off of cliffs....
I follow that thought
I should stay in the water
keep my tail and scales
I have come out so many times
lately only for you
you will not come in the water
you don't want to hear me sing
you want me to be silent and listen
you want me to agree about the past
and collapse
I say here
here is the future
I can see it
and you don't answer
you don't listen
when I return to the sea
you call me
and you come to the edge of the sea
to call me
but you won't come in
I have come out to you
on those painful legs
for which I sacrifice my voice
you would have scales and a tail
if you came to me
come to the future with me
we will meet at the edge of the sea
me in the sea
you on the beach
and talk
but this is goodbye
I won't come out again
and I say to the Beloved
I am sorry about the wings
I will use the wings
my back was so sore
where the wings were
the wings are back
I still have my scales and tail
I rise to the surface of the sea
I spread my wings
scales, tail and wings
I begin
now I will fly