A concept I remember from my earlier days on how to deal with
alcoholic/
drug abusing people. Basically it states that as long as you use, I refuse to help you, even though you are my friend/son/daughter/Mom/Dad, and
I love you. I've heard it used in many contexts since then, but the theme remains the same. You can't help those that won't help themselves.
(Damn that's Republican sounding of me.)