i keep thinking
today is
sunday. i'm all messed up. the
surgery went well, no complications.
i'm in
pain. the
worst i've ever felt. standing up i feel like my
organs are
hanging toward the ground from strands of stringy
guts. when i lay down i feel like there is a concrete block on my
stomach. i couldn't
sleep much last night.
interestingly, before the surgery my
blood pressure was 107/61 and my
pulse was 60. interesting because i was nervous as all hell and expected them to be higher. unfortunately, the level of tegretol (my
anticonvulsant medication) in my
blood was low, and i was worried they may postpone the
surgery, but it all turned out well (and they've up'd my dosage of tegretol, blech!)
i
remember being wheeled into the
operating room. i remember the anesthesiologist saying that she was putting something into my iv line to
relax me. i remember looking around and smiling, then
apologizing to the doctors that i was
smiling. then i woke up. i couldn't
see, everything was blurry. i knew where i was, i wasn't
confused. but i was in
pain. i couldn't help but
cry.
i
hurt so much that i was sure there were
complications and they had done an
open surgery instead of
laparoscopic. as well, it seemed too much
time had passed. when i looked at the
clock, it was 3pm. i went in to
surgery around 1pm. it should only have taken 45 minutes. the
nurses reassured me that
everything went well and i could see my
family once the
pain was tolerable.
after countless shots of ineffective
morphine, they finally gave me a shot of
demerol and something whose name i cannot recall. right in the
ass. then i began to feel better. not good, but better. then i was allowed to see my
family. first my
sister came back, then she left and sent my
mother and
craig in (they'd only let two
people in at a time).
by this time i just wanted to go
home. so we gathered
prescriptions and checked out and went home. once the
demerol shot wore off, i started feeling like crap. i still feel like
crap but it's fading. i think i'll be much better by
sunday.
thanks to all who had me in their thoughts.