Becky and I met when she was just too young for me. She was the younger sister of a friend. Becky was tall, thin, and extremely pretty. She looked a lot older than she really was. You could just look at her and tell she was somebody special. She was just that kind of girl.
The electricity between us was strong and obvious. She felt it, I felt it, and everyone could see it. We would spend hours talking whenever chance would throw us together.
I never did anything to act on our mutual attraction (because of the age difference). Becky on the other hand tried to seduce me every time we were alone together. But I never let her. I almost gave in once when we ended up alone together in my car.
After that we talked and decided to wait until she was 18 until we saw each other again. So Becky went out of my life.
I thought about her sometimes over the next few years. The taboo of her younger age vanished in my head because I realized that she would be "acceptable" by society by the next time I saw her. I wasn't sure if I would ever actually see her again. But I wanted to. I really wanted to.
Today at about 3 O'clock in the afternoon my phone rang. It was Becky. She had turned 18 yesterday. (She had apparently kept track of me over the last few years through her sister's friends). She wanted to see me. My heart raced. We made plans to meet at Applebee's at 7:00.
When I got off the phone I was more excited than I had ever been in my life. I spent the next 3 hours getting ready for the biggest date of my life. I got a haircut, washed my car, and bought condoms.
I nearly bit my roommates head off when it was time for me to leave, (his car had mine blocked in). I calmed down on the drive to Applebee's.
Becky was waiting for me when I got there. She was even prettier at 18 than she had been at 15. We got a table, ordered, and talked. But the magic just wasn't there anymore. Sometime in her growing up and my growing older it had disappeared. We both clumsily tried to flirt with each other to no effect. Finally Becky said what we were both thinking, "Its just not there like it used to be". I agreed with her. I wanted it to be there but it just wasn't. We talked a little longer, hugged and left.
The drive home was hard at first. But I was happy by the time I got home. At least I got to find out. I have so many unanswered questions in my past. So many "what ifs". I got to close the book on Becky without any doubts as to what might have happened. I have but one regret when I think of Becky.
I wish that back when the magic between us was strong that we would have kissed at least once.
That kiss is (without a doubt), the best kiss I never had.
Update
We did eventually end up kissing at midnight on New Year's Eve, many years after I wrote this node. It was nice, but we both went back to our normal lives the next day.