One can also create a Heretical Egg Cream that, while substandard, is nonetheless moderately tasty, in the manner that follows:

  1. Put 1 inch of chocolate syrup—I've used Hershey's, it'll do—in a tall glass.
  2. Add above that about 1 inch, maybe less, of milkwhole, skim, or in between.
  3. Fill the glass with plain ol' club soda, all the while stirring maniacally.
Drink, enjoy, and try not to wish too hard that you were drinking a real Egg Cream.